Friday, October 29, 2010

Im losing it

Why do i feel like everything is just crumbling down.

First, one has to torture by constantly going mad, the other, I'm just sad, and disappointed with the other.

I thought I could rely on him to take me out of this shit, I thought I wanted him to help me find who I am again, who I was when I was 17. But I guess, it was simply wishful thinking. He's more concerned with his current life, happily flirting away with the better sex, getting caught up with the ever so fulfilling schoolwork, wanting certain desires, horribly DISGUSTING. And I thought I could rely on someone who supposedly knew me better than anyone else. I guess I can't, it's absolutely horrendously DISGUSTING. I never thought one could become that different over a few years.

I hate opening up to others about my feelings deep down. Sure i may tell some closer frens what shit im going through, but deep down there's more, and I dont say. They think I'm always happy and cheerful. Really? Look harder. I hate everything the way it is now. I hate school, I hate some people around me, I hate him, and him. At home, I pretend to be okay. People that think they know whats going on, they have no fucking idea how much I've sacrificed and given up for that person that does nothing but hurts me, yet pretends to be some nice sweet guy infront of friends in fear of rejection.

I've made up my mind. Gone with him and him. I will get through this myself, despite me feeling like giving everything up. but i will fight it strong, I will learn never to think that I can depend on you. You will never understnad and I don't think you care.

Posted by Brendy at 1:43 AM

Sunday, October 24, 2010

It really hurts me to see that you just don't seem to give a damn about anything. I guess I can understand, I'd have felt the same way too.. But, has everything been lost? All the memories?

Guess you prob think that I don't know what I want again, but fact is, I think I do know what I want. But seeing your nonchalance, I'm thinking twice. Perhaps it's time to close the possibility that I've had in my head for a few yrs now. I don't think I can or have the energy to keep up with you anyway. I'll give it awhile more, once I'm sure what I sense is right, I will close this possibility forever and never ever look back.

sometimes people get blinded by things, and fail to see that there's someone there that really treasures him/her be it as just frens, or more. but what can we do.

I will close the door, soon. It will be a pity i feel, but I guess that's what u want :)

This blog is getting more and more depressing! But I'm fine...

Posted by Brendy at 4:50 PM

Saturday, October 23, 2010

deja vu

this deja vu feeling.

4 years ago, i felt it. yes, no, yes, no? i thought it was a yes, people said maybe it's a no..

So i moved on.

Then half a year later, my suspicions were confirmed, it was a yes.

So anyway, deja vu, because I'm feeling the same way again. Sometimes you just want an answer. But you know that the answer doesn't just fall from no where. But do I have the courage to search for the answer? I don't know.

It shocks me to realise how apt that song is now. The song that , once held loads of meaning, and then lost its meaning and its back. for good? I don't know.

It takes certain experiences for you to realise what you really want in life. But, once you let certain things go, you might never get it back again, but is that fair? Perhaps it isnt, but I gotta live with it.

After all I did say, whatever's meant to be, is meant to be.

So I shall leave this to God. Lead me and guide me.

Posted by Brendy at 2:03 PM

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Here I am again.

I just need to rant my feelings, and no i do not feel like talking to someone about it, because talking to people just complicate matters even more.

Therefore, blog shall be my confidante for now.

So ok, now where do I go next. What am I doing? I don't even know.

All i know it's that, I am having difficulty drawing the line between past and present. I feel myself living in the past when suddenly it hits me, hey, you're no longer who you were, and things aren't the same anymore.

But I miss that familiarity, somehow. I know I shouldn't, but I've been missing it for 3 years. It's weird. How things always play out to be not like how you'd think it would be.

Anyway, all I can say is, I shall leave this up to God, because right now I am in absolutely no capacity to decide on my next course of action. I am in a sea of confusion, a really dark murky sea.

Oh God please tell me what to do now?

Posted by Brendy at 12:00 AM

Monday, September 27, 2010

It's been two years.

Time has flown indeed, and of all times, when I should be studying for my midterms, I suddenly have this sudden urge to type something on my long abandoned but memory filled blog.

Perhaps, it's the series of events that have been happening in my life, been playing little tricks and games with me.

I thought I knew what I was doing, I always think I know what I am doing. But now, it becomes all too murky and it isn't so clear anymore.

I still lay in bed, thinking and sometimes trying to fight back the tears. How foolish was I to let something so important just go. Like that. For no rhyme or reason.

But I always force myself to stop thinking, it's not fair to everyone. So I stop, I run away from it.

But I know. It's still there, somehow, eating through me. I have to face it.

I will soon, but I don't know how.

Please teach me.

Posted by Brendy at 9:37 PM

Friday, July 04, 2008

Its the last half hour of my closing shift at the airport! time just flew by today! My past few weeks have been extremely eventful, and right now I feel like I can just fly!

First of all, our 'Angels In Disguise' concert was a blast! Really successful! Thanks everyone for putting so much effort! =) I'm sure we touched many..Anyhows past few weeks were filled with choir practices 3 times a week..

Last week, Kathy and I were down at suntec city to be tourism ambassadors for the International Water week exhibition! Well, the first day was really really boring. we walked around countless times and took note of some good catches! then the day ended..Second and Third days suddenly became soooooooooooooo Fun! time just flew by! Kathy and I were the ambassadors and Jessie was at the mobile SVC counter, so it just rocked! Kat and I ended up walking around giving out magazines and making friends with people of all nationalities! Kathy spotted a few guys..but one caught her eye the most, shan't say who..hee..but anyway, one did catch my eye from the first day..and well i shan't elaborate here cos its not really ready to be out in the open..but all i can say is that, God works wonders..on the second day, we decided to go for a durian buffet at carlton hotel after work..so at 6, we three went to walk around in suntec for abit then when to have our buffet! MAN THE DURIAN CAKE WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kathy and jessie especially liked the durian pudding...oh and the chocolate fondue was..OMG! the brownie and the sweet strawberries, raspberries...WERE AWESOME! and there was movenpick ice cream..my reaction was hilarious when i ate the choco mint flavour..but kathy and jessie soon understood why..it was just HEAVEN! hee..it sooooo fun workign with them..but we sure do spend alot, cos lunch time we had a korean meal! Man I miss working with them already.. =(

On tuesday, I went to the night safari with Torbjourn, my new swedish fren..Kathy..dont worry i'll help you with andrew! heee...and ya..that 'person' is useless now.. we both know who! arghs! remember how i was saying that im just naturally annoyed with 'the person'..from the minute we spoke..HAHHAHAH!!!!! but wells according to Torb, andrews a good catch..Kathy Kathy!!!
Anyhows night safari was sooooooooooooooo fun..I LOVE THE SAFARIIIIIIII!! and i was just there a month ago..plus company was GREATTTT..Torb's such a lovely guy..despite him being too tall.. like 192..hahahha..will post pictures soon..hee..I totally embarrassed myself when i grabbed him and screamed when a squirrel jumped down! AHAHHAHA! Will be meeting Torb during the weekend before i leave for auzzieland on monday! THEN ILL BE GONE FOR 2 WEEKS! =( my dad and mom are bit retarded..asking me real weird stuff! heh!

ah! its time to close up this place.shall continue again soon! ta!

Posted by Brendy at 1:28 AM

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

hahah! the hilarious parents! i think they didnt wanna meet us, but we caught them at the lift in the extremely comical outfit for the onsen(hot spring)! i think we three girls took pics too, but its with daffy! haha!

mommy, and our spread of food! yummy!!!!

me with a small sakura branch..hahahah

the ladies, caught in the act! it was super funny to see the 4 of them there cos the daddys were asking us where the ladies went cos they were locked out! but we didnt know and we were also on our way to the onsen..and as we walked in, we suddenly spotted the 4 of them huddled together in the feet onsen! AHAHHAHAHA

we were captured on the screen in the ishiya choc factory! hee so cool!

Posted by Brendy at 11:49 AM

all these pictures are super blur cos daffy hasnt given me the photos but the moms developed them already, so i took it with my camera..like from the developed ones..AHHAHAHA!
anyway this is in the middle of some place..cant rmb where!

konbanwa! room service?HAHAHA! so pretty! daffy doo looks SOOOOOOOOO young!

SUPER NICE PIC! real flowers mind you! incredible! this was at ishiya chocolate factory!

daffys dad captured this, super nice! and we have no idea when he took it!

us! except daffy who was taking the picture!

Posted by Brendy at 11:39 AM

the parents, we were in a ramen store! the typical jap kind!

our tatami style room! had like 3 nights or so in diff tatami hotels!

prissy poo and me, after climbing up the many stairs that almost killed us! wind was so strong that it could have blown us away! yay!

we three musketeers soaking our feet in the hot foot onsen! haha! thats the ONLY ONSEN daffy was willing to go..she could only bare to bare her feet naked, nothing else! AHAHAH

me at a VERY VERY VERY smell sulphur place! gross

Posted by Brendy at 11:08 AM

KONICHIWA! haha..dun we look so pretty!

look at teh size of the HUGGGGGGGGGG crabs!

asahi beer factory! =) soon after prissy and me turned RED! hee! wad can be better than fresh beer!

ramen street!

JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN!!! WOOHOO!! the smoke that was coming up from the drains...its a hot spring area! super cool!! and it was freezing, if it doesnt look like it..hahahah

Posted by Brendy at 10:42 AM

Monday, June 16, 2008

whee, im doing closing again, so yes, its blogging time! haha!

lets see, yesterday, we had the franciscan run at st marys church, so michaela picked clara and i up at like 6 and we headed there! we had to run 5km in pairs so i was paired up w clara! hmm actually it wasnt too bad, though at times it felt like it was never ending..heh..and for the record the genesians present were brenda aka me, clara, sandrine, marilyn, andrea, joanne, elden, jonlims, kenneth,anthony, chris, brandon, shaun, darren, ferd, bryan, boggs, jared..
after which we went to st theresas so practice with the musicians..and after that, darren fetched clara home and anton,bran and darren fetched me home to change. we were plannin on going out..darren decided not to drive so went in shauns car.
the rest in between is redundant
so anyway, bran and i went to shop and then had dinner, was supposed to meet darren and all but, hmms..
so after dinner we walked to clarke quay to meet anton and prissy and had a drink at highlanders..somehow pris and i felt that the time we drank with o pa was like much better..cos clarke quay on a sunday is real boring..oh but but, o pa called me while i was having dinner..and he was in cameron highlands..how funny! heh..

but anyways, like wad bran said, yesterday was pretty random..oh wells.. hahah
blah blah blah, we went home bout 1 plus..

-the present-

ok great so its not gonna happen, what was i thinking..seriously..well i guess everyone has their fair share..uhuh..its annoying though..

bro fetched me to work today, but thats cos he was happy cos his job interview was successful, haha congrats kor kor..lol..

why is time passing sooooooo slowly today...arghs..

Posted by Brendy at 5:43 PM

Friday, June 13, 2008

oh my oh my! anuenghaseyo!
ok, out of your korean mood bren...well its been sooooo long since i last updated, as usual..so i really dun know where to start cos sooooooooooooooooooooo much stuff have happened, and..
ok, in chronological order..

MAY
HMM!! i cant remember, all i remember is that i went to japan for a week with parents, their frens and my boobie darling prissy! hahaha, and daffyyyyyy dooo daphne! hahahaha! hokkaido, was.. ok not bad..BUT I LOVE JAPAN! omg! and it was soooooooooooooooooooo fun with the two girls. a pity though that daffy refused to join me and pris in the fully naked onsen ( hot spring), cos every hotel we stayed in was a hot spring hotel! and OMG! from the apprehensive girls that didnt dare to strip, we became the onsen fans who gave no cahoots bout openly stripping and sitting in a row to bathe and then jumping into the HOT water! it grew onto us so much that on the last night, because we were staying in the city, we kept crying out for onsen, and even wanted to make our own feet onsen in the bath..hee..of cos, since its been a month ago, i cant remmeber much, but if i have time ill post pics! whee!! and its like the whole trip, the adults were so envious of us 3 girls cos we seemed to be doing everything the smarter way unlike them..hee! the feeling was kinda awesome..and honestly we've never seen our parents fool around so much before, it was HILARIOUS! of cos, not forgetting the HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE crabs we ate for quite a few meals, and the beef that we three girls totally went crazy over! woohoo! it was a fantabulous trip cos of the great company i had, and of cos JAPAN is a lovely lovely place!

following on:
JUNE

ok yesterday and tuesday, i brought won seok o pa around some places in singapore! ok i pulled prissy along w me...ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I LOVE KOREANNNNNNNNNN!!! and thanks to o pa( brother) my korean improved! speak to me in korean yall! and i can sing the bear song that rain sang in full house! yay! anyway, we'll prob go to korea in december or sth cos o pa said he'll bring us around! woohoo! or maybe if he isnt done w travelling round the world, we can only go in june/july next year..but seriously, he seems so rich man..tsk! annoying, i wanna travel the world too.. i mean hes only 22 and ok the only child so his parents prob fund everything for him! heh..lucky dude..anyway, it was really fun cos pris and i are like always ranting in korean and we actually got to practice it on a real korean guy! too bad he left to go to malaysia so soon, cos of his fren ..that baboya! hahaha..anyways..o pa ( i forgot how to say i'll miss you in korean)..chai ga! (take care) hee! and he gave me a korean coin, 100 won, to keep as a souvenir..hahah! prissy, sorry for making you get a headache cos we went to drink! ahhaha!! apparently korean girls and guys drink alot! arghs..but it was fun wasnt it! we got to see dancing elephants at the pump room in clarke quay.heeeeee...anyhows, cant wait to go to korea and let o pa bring us around.. he lives in seoul! hee..i think im mad, well he thinks i am cos he said he hasnt met anyone who wants to learn korean so much!

also, on tuesday, i brought my cousins french exchange fren around orchard, well ok ,until o pa came..and they kinda wandered off..but the french girl margarate is really sweet and nice..we also went to the zoo and night safari yesterday..OMG it was soo nice...seriously, i havent been to the zoo and night safari in like a million years.. and im always recommending it to tourists. but thanks to aunty who paid for me, its was freakin 45 bucks. blearghs.. and tessa was like mad..over the ben and jerrys guy..it was so weird cos when we walked in they were like acting all weird.. then when we left they were like so enthusiastic to say bye..then we went back again to get one more ice cream and mine was dripping all over my hand like mad! so one of the guys was like, tissue? and the other was like put it in the cup, and when i put it in, (what tessa heard, i didnt) said, happy? to the other..hur..and they gave me a new one and asked me to hush hush bout it.. oh man how embarrassing! anyhows, tessa saw the name of the cuter guy but not the other not so cute one..oh man my dearest cousin is walking in my foot steps..hahahah, just kidding..but i was seriously shocked she even knew his name! lol..anyhows, the animals were really cute, but the zoo was a tad too disappointing..blearghs..night safari, in my opinion was much cooler, in every way..( It WAS LIKE ULTRA HOT AND HUMID in the day) singapore's weather is DISGUSTING! and i realised that after bringing foreigners around, i realised that sg is realllllll boring..honestly..sigh..singapore ought to look at their pricing if they intend to attract tourism in the long term..it has to consider who the countries around us are...so much cheaper and so much more to see..sigh..

ok this has gone on much longer than i have expected..later im going shopping at bugis! ahhaa..again..hee.life just rocks now..and even though church choir concert practices are in full swing, 3 times a week,and though practices can be really disheartening, with like pple not bothering to turn up, its still good cos at the end of the day we're doing this for god..and..ya..hahah

alright..time to work...

Posted by Brendy at 6:18 AM

Monday, April 21, 2008

whee! haha! yesterdays g2 outing at ecp was fantabulous! right now im aching terribly..from laughing too much and from captains ball, frisbee, softball.. etc..hee! DARLING darren was his bitchy self, and bimbotic prissy was as bimbotic as ever ( all soppies are), then there was daffy, sandrine, clara, sam, dom, chris, shaun, blah blah blah.. during dinner, we were laughing like MADDD cos pris and i were trying to be koreans! omg hilarious..

and yesterday, dearest clara had to be around to hear my horrigible confession of love to DARLING darren..to think he didnt believe a word i said..HAHAHA..oh wells, cos he was trying to probe sth outta me, so i tried to shut him up by saying that i liked him....like oh darren ive liked you for such a long time..hahaha! well who noes right? hmm... HAHAHA! was really funny when he threw the frisbee ,i missed, i threw back to him he missed.and he said, darling, we shouldnt be missing each other..oh god! hahaha..well not bad to have a doctor bf ya..EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW..gross..hahahhaha

during captains ball, our team that consisted of daffy, darren, me, shaun aka shauna , eunice was totally whooping the other team! haha! we rock man! woohoo!and to think we had only one guy on the team since shauna is a girl..hahaha..really agressive one too..lol..poor daffy kicked the big elephant elden and sprained her lil toe! so we stopped playing..haha...

then, throwing our korean bbq plans aside, we headed down to lagoon..gosh like 5 of us squeezed into the back of eunice's car..haha..and man, they ordered LOADs of food, chicken wings, sting ray....and so on..haha!

really had a fun time, apart from the part when i kept whining to clara then i shall only be able to watch someones back, be a metre away from the person...blah..nvm..hahah...sigh..i was emoing in darrens car for a lil while...or maybe i was just practically exhausted from the laughing and games.. and soon after dropping elden and shaun off, i was brutally abusing shaun's winnie the pooh...oopss..hahahaha..sorry..lol!

and right now, prissy and i are still deciding if we should attend world youth day in sydney, or just go there on our own, OR GO TO KOREA!
hahahaha...KOREA seems pretty attractive since we both can speak KOREAN SO DARN WELL! YEYY!! BO!! ANYUNGHASEYO!KAMSAHAMIDA! KENCHANAYO? KA JI MA! hahahhahaha
and we could use our limited vocab to make up some stupid story bout someone ordering a chicken and it being uncooked..blah blah...hilarious!
BI YA NEH YO!

heh..ok i shall go write freddys stupid feedback..heh..idiot freddy! blearghs!!! I HOPE YOU SEE THIS!!!!!!! DUN BE SO IDIOTIC ALREADY OK! hahaha! =PPPPP

alrightys off now..heee

ireallylikeya

Posted by Brendy at 8:55 AM

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Once again I'm here in Terminal 3 doing closing till 2.15 am! It has finally hit my hard that today was the second last lesson of my driving, with Wed being the last and Thurs, my practical test. Shit, now i know why I am so depressed. Reasons being, one, I'm so going to miss driving lessons with Freddy! It has been so fun and really enjoyable, crapping half the time and laughing like mad, almost losing control of the car. Freddy has been such a great instructor/friend and it is kind of sad to think that I will no longer be in the car with him teaching me how to drive, and reminding me to check blindspots. Gosh, so emo, but it is. I really hope that we will still catch up or something even when I've passed because I totally hate letting go of a friendship that has somehow been developed, irregardless of who it is, esp if you click well. HaHa. Second reason why I'm so depressed is the amounts of responsibilities I have now. Work, and other stuff, I really ought to be enjoying myself and all now man. Well work sure is fun but tiring, real tiring. Haha. Still love it though.

Will be going to Bintan with my cousin next week! Its time for some SPA! Yay! Suntanning and SPA, I really need it. Parents are planning a trip to Hokkaido in May, hee, can't wait!

Hmmm, I don't know why it just seems weird to see Asian girls with Caucasian guys. I know its nothing wrong but somehow SPG just comes to my mind. Haha.

Been having lots of psychological and emotional struggles lately. I told Fred today that I feel like turning lesbian! Haha, I know that is kinda impossible for me, looking at who I am, but I'm tired of having so much commitments, esp if its to other people. Right now, I pretty much want my own time to do the things I want to do. Sigh. My mom freaked out when I told her I am going to start going for 30 over yr old guys! Haha! Met my parents' relations manager in ABN Amro, the one mom wants to matchmake with my cousin. Haha! I gave him a nickname and ha, my mom's definitely going to burst out laughing the next time she talks to him! Haha! Well he is not bad looking, tall, hmm..HAHA!

Hmm, driving today was good as usual, it is so comforting to see that Fred has so much confidence in me. =) Hope I don't disappoint you! The last lesson before today was extremely hilarious. Fred finally came back from his surgery, ouch! Take care man. A pity I had plans after lesson so couldn't follow him to watch his bro jam. Wells, next time maybe.

Yes, you can see, I'm real bored here! Heh.

Oh wells, good luck to me, and I hope I cheer up!

Posted by Brendy at 1:00 AM

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Ok here I am again, to blog, cos you know what, yes, im working all alone here in terminal 2 transit hall and i end at 2.15am! arghs! which means i have 3 hours to go! i can do it!

anyway its finally today that im fully slapped awake! oh god, finally after all my self denials! its really true when the say never judge a book by its cover. well, its terrible how i thought this person WAS actually sweet and sensible and nice and all, but oh we were hell wrong, precisely why i used the word ' WAS'. lets just say im absolutely disgusted by how egoistic, loserish, and oh man, disgusting that certain person is! so sour just cos i dont reciprocate? HAHAHAHA! LOSER!

(ha, they are uprooting the trees in the fern garden in T2 and tourists are watching and taking videos like its so darn interesting, well it is, kinda! hahahha! they're tugging and pulling!oh at least im being entertained!)

ok back to bitching, yeah, im just so totally appalled at how terrible someone can be! superficial and fake, 100 percent loser! thus, the story is over! yay!

THE END
(some guy just took a picture of svc, with me in it! yucks)

Hmmm, gosh its only 12, bout 2 hours left! I WILL survive! prob going blading with jonny tmr, and then dinner with bran on sat! its been so long brandy! =) im having a severe backache from sitting man! oh dear i think i just gave a guy wrong directions! oh shit! arghs! i hope he finds his way! sigh...when it comes to 12 my brain just stops working! oh no no!

ok, i think i should like go study my theory or sth! haha! cant wait to get home and jump into my bed! and sigh! i feel sooooooo detached from god again! there was this period when i was sooooooo close to god, every night without fail thered be a conversation, now i just go home and sleep and with work on weekends, missed church as well! i hate myself!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! but nvm, ive committed myself to the G2 concert committee, which means i'll have a more active religious life! whee! I decided to joint the committee cos i noe that thats the best way to bring myself back and contribute more!

btw, why do caucasians like to use cheers so much! i had two guys saying cheers to me today! hahah! cute!

Posted by Brendy at 11:48 PM

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

BRENNNNN AND HER LIFE NOW

hellooo...hmmm..im dead bored now..cos im like here at terminal 2 transit working, and im all alone..i hate closing shifts man..haha..but i absolutely love working at the airport..wheeeeeeeeeeee...haha...hmm, 2 more hours to 2.15 am, i hope i survive..and im not supposed to use the com here for personal stuff..but oh wells..i dun wanna die of boredom...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

i predict that this is gonna be a super duper long entry since im so free..i love this job mainly cos i get to interact with people from all over the world, being in the singapore visitor centre..and well i have to admit that my knowledge of singapore has certainly increased..so pple out there, if u need ideas on where to go or what to do in singapore, do come to me..hahahaha...not forgetting the working environment here in the airport is lovely, pple are really friendly, right now i seem to noe pple everywhere..even the left baggage counter guys..hahahahah..gosh thats damn funny...and the hermes ashley, mr cisco officer, and ferrari shop person..and..arghs..alot..plus i work with many lovely pple as well, HUAY HAN! ahhaha, joanna, maria, xinyi , xingying..hahahaha..blah blah! =) dread the day when uni starts and ill have to stop..=(

talking bout that, dad heard from the reporters in his office that A's results are like next friday..and i heard from qisi that our batch did really badly so much so that they are gonna do away with this dumb new syllabus..well we're lab guinea pigs u see..but seriously, its a DUMB system, whoever thought of it...

hmmm...since the start of this year sooooo much stuff has happened..and im absolutely loving it..driving, my new job and all..plus my new haircut and colour which i love.=) hee..i dun wan all this to end!!!! driving, its quite a chore to drive really, with all the traffic in singapore! grrr..

(not a single soul here)

arhgs..its only 12am now! 2 more hours! go brenda! hmmm apparently i dun seem to be known as brenda, so far ive had random pple at the airport calling me weird names..like theresa, xingying... HELLO IM BRENDA FOR GODS SAKE! haahaha..dun i look like one?!!

hmmm.. i so wanna go back to taiwan again..it was such a lovely trip...with dear huang and bixia! yay! meeting them on friday, and tmr im meeting dear arthi farthi for valentines lunch.hahahhahha!!! seems like i have lotsa les partners...

GOSH IM SO BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

xinyi is at terminal 3 and we're supposed to talk on the phone..hahaha..sigh..so boringg...but wells at least i get paid doing nothing..hmm but in the day its really busy...so oh wells..i shall study my advanced theory now! dun wanna fail man! hmm..sooooooo yeah,, off i go, nice to talk to you again bloggy, sorry that i have neglected you for so long!! MUAHSSS

gosh i really am crazy..

Posted by Brendy at 11:50 PM

Thursday, December 06, 2007

ok wait..whats happening..im actually back to blog? when my last entry was like what april? hahhaa..anyway prob no one will see this too since ive given the impression that this blog is dead. nevertheless since its almost 3am and i cant sleep cos of ...nvm...i shall blog!

THE A's ARE LIKE OVER....well quite some time ago though...and im back from my trip too..went to germany and ireland..ireland to visit bro! it was a great trip,lotsa sightseeing and lots and lots of chocs..=) hmmm...and i pulled my very own pint of guiness stout and the guiness storehouse in dublin! how cool is that..there's really so much more, so maybe ill just post pics soon..oh and the xmas markets in dresden, Germany were....AWESOME, thats an understatement..

last night...we had our prom!!! and marina mandarin! my oh my, i had loads of fun! and then me huang, xia, and ida proceeded to zouk..the songs were boring after awhile, crowd died down..duh, tuesday night..but nevertheless really had fun going wild man..woohoo..and not forgetting that guy that gave huang a flower, and the guy that came to sing and dance w me, and told me im hot, only to make me wanna walk away even more..but he was quite cute..=) and thanks to bixia i now know who he is ..*winks* hee...oh wells.......... left at 3 plus when it ended, 3 of us cabbed to my place and watched a movie then walked to ecp for macs and returned again at 8. that sounded pretty exhausting, well it was man! no sleep at all and all the mad dancing! plus my heels that were killing me that i danced bearfoot at irregular intervals..hee...

playin for mass this sat cos noel is away..havent played in ages..xmas is coming! =) its all bout the birth of jesus christ yall! ahhaha...

btw, i think i liked my hair..soooooo..if anyone has a function to attend try out modele at city link, very reasonble pricing! =) but make an appointment..

hmmm..ok im starting to feel sleepy, god knows when my next entry will be...

huang and bixia, to taiwan we will go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)
and i love you guys!!!!!!!!!

Posted by Brendy at 2:38 AM

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Don't really have time to blog, BUT darling huangy deserves a mention! Went out with her on Fri! MAN IT WAS AWESOME!! cant wait for our shopping trip next friday! woohoo!! Love ya babes! Thanks for being my sweets since sec 3! HAHA!

Posted by Brendy at 10:15 AM

Thursday, March 29, 2007

My Madrasah experience

As a Chinese girl who grew up very much in an English speaking environment, I was filled with many doubts and apprehensions on the Islam religion and the Muslim’s way of life. Despite having Malay friends around me, I had very little understanding of the Islamic religion and its practices. I was aware of their need to consume Halal food and fast during the fasting month, but that was that much , or should I say that little I knew. Finally, an opportunity to clear all my doubts and questions came knocking on my door and it was none other than the immersion programme with the Madrasah Wak Tanjong Al-Islamiah (MWTI).

Used to the usual routine of singing the national anthem and pledge taking for morning assembly, it was indeed refreshing to see that the MWTI students started every morning with a morning prayer. Unlike us Tjcians who cannot even stand still when the anthem is sung, the MWTI students immediately fall into straight rows and silence to piously recite the prayer with their head prefect. It was heartwarming to see a whole community even the young ones praying together and submitting themselves to God. As if I was not impressed enough, we were brought to see their prayer session in the hall. Standing and prostrating as one big family, I could see the very eminent faith they possessed, something Christian kids should learn.

One thing that struck me the most during the 2 days was their humility. How they never seemed to complain about anything, how they seemed to be satisfied with whatever they had, even their small canteen that gave them limited choices of food. Tjcians are constantly complaining about the canteen serving lousy food with limited variety, that is where I feel Tjcians should pay MWTI a visit. I thought to myself, these people live in Singapore too, most of whom come to school in big and luxurious cars. They are as modern as us but yet why are they so much less demanding and complex as us students in the mainstream. Perhaps, it was because of their strong faith in their religion that teaches them to accept whatever god has given them and be thankful for it. Also, despite having to do 5 prayers a day, never did I hear a single complaint or sense and reluctance. I feel that the youths in my church have to learn from them as some cannot even commit a single hour weekly to God. Thus, although I am not a Muslim, looking at their way of life has really humbled me and no doubt made me reflect on my role as a whole person and a Christian.

This exchange has no doubt cleared all my doubts on the Islamic religion- why they pray 5 times a day, the rituals and faith that they believe in. Also, although the MWTI students are not from the mainstream education, they are by no means different from us. In fact they are even more admirable for their dedication to their religious studies, juggling it with their academics. It again makes me reflect as a Christian, how I used to dread going for my weekend religious classes.

I’ve made so many new friends despite the short 2 days and the differences we bore. It really saddens me to leave the family of MWTI but I am also extremely grateful and thankful that I took on this opportunity. I feel that in order for Singapore to be more integrated racially and be more understanding towards different races, such programmes should be carried out actively in schools. It enables us to take a further step beyond just accepting to actually understanding and appreciating each other. It has really been an eye opening and humbling experience for me, and at least I can now proudly proclaim that I have worn a Tudong before and that I have attended a Madrasah for 2 days.

Pictures will be uploaded real soon!!
Special thanks to my buddy Faseha and all who made the stay so enjoyable and fulfilling!!

The head prefect is hot! oops!

Posted by Brendy at 10:16 PM

Thursday, March 08, 2007

AS my usual first liner for my blog entries always go,I'm finally back to blog!! I've just finished doing my literature assignment, so in a rather litty mood, so decided to come do a short entry. Well, its been 4 months or so, and i seriously dont know where to start from. Ok, in Dec, there was my trip to China, and Xmas. They were both fantastic, but of course its been too long ago so dont really want to elaborate much on it. January- BOND 007! The orientation for the year ones! WOOHOO!!! My oh MY! That was really an amazing amazing orientation. O-night, was, in a word, unbelievable. I got body surfed! woohoo! but ok thats not the point. Point is I made soooooooooo many cool and young new friends! Haha! NICHOLAS !! the toothead who cant dance. XinJun who blushed when we called him ShinGoon! WHO REFUSED TO LISTEN TO US WHEN WE GAVE HIM INSTRUCTIONS! Uncle Zhi Peng! Cool Farid! Samantha, ranessa, nicole, eehwee, elizabeth the blue nuns! haha! petrina, Sarah, VANIA THE PREEEETTTYY GIRL...ok and loadsssss more..not forgetting those from other OGs, Johnny, trinity, my ANGEL! 14/07 guys.. hmm...fun bunch man!

ok enough of rattling on..anyhows, been a great 2 months or so. Apart from the studies which have been a little screwed lately. Nevertheless catching up now! Oh yes thanks to everyone who wished me and gave me presents on my bdae..That was soooooo long ago..

on a more serious note, i hope out dear Fangfang stays in TJ. You can do it FANG! if she goes there'd be no one act cute together with me and take soooooo many pictures. No one to call me snorty or huhuhu... and burst out into and uncontrollable laughter !haha!! yes and the qian jin gong zhu..hmpf! hahahah..aye..stupid school..it's funny how you take everyone for granted but only realise u treasure them when they may have to leave! nevertheless I know she can do it! =)

GO FANG!!! BEHIND YOU ALWAYS!!! IF YOU EVER READ THIS!!! heeeeee...

alright..thats enough for now..

Posted by Brendy at 6:04 PM

Thursday, November 16, 2006

im wondering if im getting old too fast. anyhows, i have been frequenting the airport lately. just sitting at coffee bean and observing pple. i like chilling out at places like that with my friends. i don't exactly like the malls or movies where there are sooooo many teenagers around. im weird, but i seek sophistication. haha! yeah right. but, thing is i enjoy the company of adults more rather then the teens. of course all my friends are exceptions, but ya, wouldnt exactly like to hang out somewhere where there are so many sch kids making so much noise..grr.. anyway, at the airport, i saw many many sophisticated men and women, of which few were Singaporeans. From my observation, i realised that Singaporeans are an incredibly rude bunch and we're far from the sophistication of foreigners. It's sad but ya.

Visiting Vivo city lately, i witnessed a series of kiasu and selfish Singaporeans. They barge their way here and there, talking at the top of their voices, completely ignorant of the fact that they are in PUBLIC. sigh..

I know, im a Singaporean, sure im proud of my country, but im certainly not proud of the typical singaporeans who give no cahoots bout simple manners and courtesy. It's a shame we're such a developed country with such a good education, but with such ill mannerisms.

of cos i should give credit to Singaporeans for being rather honest yes, most have good morals as compared to pple from other countries, explains our low crime rate.
Singapore is a safe city.

enough said, i cant wait to go on my holiday. haha.. i realised that i need to be in new environments now and then. it'd be nice if i could go away and stay in some other country for a long time and then come back again. perhaps it might make me appreciate what we have here.

hmm.. as for my personal life, i guess right now, i would rather devote more time to my own life. im gonna study hard, make sure i get the career i want, and than lead the life i wanna lead. so yes.. study study study.hahah.. bout other stuff, im being completely ignorant. guys, ill just take them as they come. wouldnt make it such a big issue in my life. =) heee

Posted by Brendy at 12:52 PM

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Life is good. hee..promos are over, pw is over! and to think i did considerably well for promos..hahaha..anyway i love cg06/06!!had our class chalet at changi. calvin tan was there too and my gosh! kid kid kid! changi's really a super scary place. the rest went to old changi hosp, but me, fang and sarah refused to go in! thank god we didnt, considering what happened in there.. grr..

anyhow, the chalet, was really really a different experience from the ones ive gone to in the highly utilised downtown east or whatever. its soooooo much nicer at changi. our chalet was double story and HUMONGOUS! could easily fit 50 ppl! hee..

hmm, the guys, have scrawny bodies. wasnt a nice sight to see them topless.. lol..they're still as childish as ever, but at least they admitted that they were as scared as the girls were..good job guys, first step to being a real man. lol.. nevertheless some were really caring..=) leslie oughts to get some special mention here.. a few of us left on the second day though..left with kenny, and it was so weird how we had a sudden impulse to get down the bus to visit the changi chapel and musuem.. so it was just me and him, in the musuem..WEIRD!! haha..it was pretty interesting.. as in the place..should go there again sometime..lol..changi is scary but really cool.hee..

after hearing all the stories bout changi, i was so freaked out when i came home, that even my shadow scared me..

oh yes, how can i forget, the ride in calvin tans car.. cant believe hes our pw teacher..hes such a kid, haha..anyhow he brought me, fang, sarah to changi village to check out the transverstites..gosh..all i can say is technology really is something..lol..a bunch were staring at calvin in the car when he drove past..hee..funny..

on the second night, noelee came to fetch me from home and we went back to the chalet for awhile..the guys, kept asking me where billy was, and when they saw noel, they were like wah why u got so many boyfriends..ewww...CRAZY! haha..daffy doo wass there too!! =)hee...anyway, ive got a holiday timetable up that covers all my studying and holidaying..so yes! im on schedule..heee. wheee!! cant wait to go to shanghai!! lalal!!!but in the meantime have to go back to school for house committee stuff (beta rocks) and orientation stuff... fun but sian!! huiping!! i want her to be with an ogl!! i cant work without my other cheer captain!! hahaha

alrighty im off to do some work..hee.. i enjoy studying..im such a mugger these days.. hahaha..u cant help it when you're in TJC! hahaa..i love my school!! PASSION PURPOSE DRIVE!!!! wheeeeeeeeee!!!

Posted by Brendy at 11:44 AM

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

WHEE!! I STILL LOVE MY CLASS NONETHELESS!! hee!! 7 to 9 Nov is our class chalet, wonder whether we'd have any ghostly encounters.Haha!

me and qisi were talking with the guys that day, no wait, we were bitching bout pple in our class, evil but well, kinda found out some stuff bout WengSeng, gosh im appalled! Never thought he was that bad. Shant say anything, but seriously, the day he gets caught, will be the end of his future. Sigh.

CANT BELIEVE IT!

ah!! shall go do my Insights and Reflections or Calvin will come haunting me for it! ahha!!

Posted by Brendy at 11:30 AM

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Okay, so this stagnant blog has finally regained little, but some life. Grr! Anyway, im down with all papers except my Lit paper, which in my opinion is rather enjoyable and isnt a chore to study like PHYSICS! so yups, technically, im kinda over with promos, considering how much ive been going out. Well, promos were quite sweet, not that id do exceptionally well, but i expected worse. haha. Econs case study though was a major disappointment, it was like, what in the world am i supposed to write. And one thing bout econs, if that happens to you, you know, youre screwed. But wells, we shall see. Hope i nailed my essays. Hee. Thanks jon for telling me how interest rates affected the xchange rate too, cos it did come out! Question was,can interest rates alone help in controlling inflation? obviously not. ok enough of Econs. Should be talking love, social propriety and marriage instead (We're doing Pride and Prejudice for Lit) heh.

Anyway, things have been really sweet. Really Really, its just different from the other sweet feelings. I don't know why, perhaps cos this is more suttle, and you slowly realise it creeping in, and it just gets u when you're unaware. I like the way things are such that when u constantly think of that person, you wouldnt hear from him/ her, but when your mind is suddenly off it, u get like a msg or sth and it totally makes your day. You'd just stare at it and grin like a lil girl eating a lolli. =) oh wells, i forsee all this sweetness disappearing as soon as they appeared, Sigh. It's ok.

Been studying with Billy lately, heh, quite a cute guy. LOL!cos he asks the weirdest questions ever! omg. but its ok, curiosity eh, No life. Well, its really enjoyable when he's around.

Had a dream bout lin jun jie last night, perhaps its a calling to go back to hai die soon and visit him when he's back in Singapore! haha..sigh! how i miss the hai die days!! VS4!! huan liang lao shi!! zhang fan lao shi! ok shut up brendy.

Hmm, i shall go study pride and prejudice now!! Dunno it i should follow my parents to my uncle's for tea, or go out to study with sisi, perhaps study. yups. im off! =)

Posted by Brendy at 10:47 AM

Saturday, August 19, 2006

trust

whee. im finally back here blogging! its been ages man. eons! so many stuff have happened. hee. anyway its 10.38 now and my morning started off pretty badly. they always say relationships are based on trust blah blah, i feel thats utter bullshit. bran, im in your shoes now, i know how u felt last time. when you've seen and experienced certain stuff, no matter how hard u try, its just impossible to trust someone. so many times in relationships, trusts are betrayed, in a way or another. worst still, the other party does not even realise his/her trust has been betrayed. yikes. ya so anyway my point is i just cant trust some pple, trust dun come easily with me, unless i knoow you matured, sensible and clear headed enough den willi fully trust you. like huang, i trust her entirely cos i noe she'll never do anything to hurt me. hee oh darling huang. but some pple are still rather blur headed and ya. quiet as they may seem at times around pple, u never noe wads goin on in their minds, cos its these quiet pple that tend to betray peoples trust. stereotyping, but its true! anyway, bottom line. i just cant trust! i mean esp if someone was known as a flirt before and like still had his/her flirty ways present in the general behaviour, all the more you just CANT TRUST. ok enough of this

NEXT

hmmm.. that scene keeps replaying in my mind. it was sweet, but hot, literally. lol ok that sounded so wrong but lol. ya, it was nice.

I LOVE TAU HUAY! seriously its like a drug, tau huay makes me happy. thanks for the tau huay that mysteriously appeared outside my sch gate. hee!! somehow or rather Qisi was particularly tickeled by the fact that someone left me tauhuay outside the sch gate. well, its just called sweet Qisi. lol. yeah. its like in those shows where pple leave flowers outside the gates except this is tau huay!! lol!! thanks tau huay man!! you noe who u are. =)

and the mystery of my stolen picture from the House Comm board! who stole my picture!! give it back!! hee..well its funny. but nvm..

anyway, i shant blabber on, have an econs seminar to attend soon. 2 to 530. man!
hahah but i love econs, how not to when u get 90th percentile! lol! well i studied really hard for it man! at the expense of physics, which i got a U for! oh man! lol! im just not a science person! hee.. okok i shall go now..=)

Posted by Brendy at 10:41 AM

trust

Posted by Brendy at 10:41 AM

Saturday, June 24, 2006

WOW, it really has been a long while since I blogged my last entry. Despite life being pretty good in many desirable ways, I somehow feel that it is all too meaningless. I lead a life of normality and monotony or so it seems. Life's pretty much filled with school, studies, Jon. Not complaining about the Jon part, but i feel i seriously have not done any meaningful thing this whole 3 months. I wanna go away, perhaps not forever, but temporarily, do something different....

Posted by Brendy at 1:50 PM

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

It's been a really long time since i've been here. nevertheless, here i am! whee im totally loving my life in TJC! and right now im at the hub, cos im only due for lesson at 11. every wed im free till 11 and i only have one lesson. gosh wad a waste of time. lol. lifes been good despite jon not being around. i miss him so badly. hes in san francisco now. hee. my class, doesnt seem as bad as i thot they were. there sure are the nerdy ones but there are the fun ones too, like boon yee, xue fang, qisi, samuel, wengseng, guang guang, arthi, kenny, leslie.. heee.. these pple make life in Tj fun. and of cos the one that never fails to make us laugh hee..our extremly er, unique CG rep yi wei. and the gay harry. and the quiet agnes. the nice florencia and purva oh and sarah and the erm anti social meagan.gosh..

heres a qn though. why cant a girl and guy be close as good frens.. rite rite qisi? lol. u see, ive been slightly closer to a certain someone in my class, and some pple are like saying we are too close for comfort blah blah..hmmm.. anyway ive sorta kept my dist abit, and sad to say life is incredibly boring.. hee

went jamming with jons band last night without jon. how funny. will be playing the keyboard for them for mardi gras. heard its the opening band. oh wadeva. lol. anyway, was kinda depressed yest cos i felt the keyboard parts were freakin disgusting. lol. wei xiang was really helpful. dun noe what id do if he hadnt helped me. lol. nice guy he is. francis the drummer, i think hes good man. despite how some feel? hmmm.. lol..anyways..to all reading!! do come down to TJc on 13 april k? starts at 7, its like an arts festival. sth like vjs music fest but tons better of cos. =) there'd be rock bands, still artist, dance, blah blah. heh..fun huh.

gonna be a really hectic and rushed day cos theres lenten vigil in church to sing for..s o gonna have to rush down. anyway..lifes been good, just that... JON FASTER COME BACK! lol..at least with his presence, i wouldnt be..ok nth..lol...see ya!

Posted by Brendy at 10:27 AM

Saturday, March 11, 2006

THANKS OG5 for getting me all the cuties. LOL! ok ill update bout orientation soon. too tired to do so now. oh yeah. last nite i kinda had erm..a shock. it was kinda scary how jon was performing. felt like my heart was gonna drop out anytime. oh wells. NO CHOICE! lol. ok soon ill be back. bye

Posted by Brendy at 9:34 AM

Monday, February 27, 2006

... off to bed at night. i can't sleep, neither can he. comes over to check if im awake. i am. we take a stroll on the deck, staying till the sun rises and rushing back just before everyone wakes...

-pouts- its so unfair. hmpf. heh. gosh i sound like some spoilt kid. hmm..lately i've been thinking of sth entirely impossible. nevertheless it's kinda nice to daydream about it and well, sadly speaking fantasize. AH!

life has been monotonous as usual. stuff with jon, i guess i could say we are good. yups. sweet one he is. =)

I WANNA GO! for.. but somehow i know it'll never happen. NEVER IN MY LIFE. God has been too nice to me already. I dun deserve anymore. Selfish me. hmpf. Haha.

anyway, watched Emily Rose. It isn't really scary. There is a slight fear i have at night, but ironically the fear is not of being possessed or anything. the fear is of whether that ring of god's protection can overpower other external forces.

well i had always imagined gods protection as this big circle around me, and that nothing would be able to enter to harm me. but the show has kinda made me query if gods powers can ever be overpowered. well it sure did seem that way in the show, cos im sure Father Richard moore had a very big circle of protection, and yet he was vulnerable to the demons' attacks. contradicting. oh wells whatever. stupid show. my faith is still kept strong.haha. but i think it was quite cool. hee. to think it's based on a true life story. looking forward to the Da Vinci Code. made into a movie. hee. Dan Brown. i love his books.

yesterday, i finally saw the importance of a choir with cheerful faces. mass felt so dead when the hossana and all the mass proper songs were sung. reason, the sunday choir was expressionless and kinda dead. only yest did i see how important the choir was to inspire the congregation.now i see why mel has been so persistant on us memorising the lyrics and looking at the congregation, and not forgetting a smile on our faces. it really works. did not go for choir last week, due to several reasons. then again im thinking, who gives a shit bout all that. y should i not go cos of some people.(well just 4 pple) weirdly darren thinks i have a problem with noel and greg or sth. no no no. its nth to do with them at all. anyway. im gonna continue playing for mass and contribute, for god, and not for anyone else. with that said, i must get all the songs for lenten vigil and learn all of them properly. have not been attending pracs. AHHH!

Posted by Brendy at 4:10 PM

Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Great Irony. It's utterly abonimable. Perhaps I'm just too repugnant.No I'm not. I guess it ain't really my fault. Sometimes I feel like my life gets screwed up unneccessarily. By total outsiders, people I'm not in any way related too. I would rather much dictate my own life then let someone else do it for me. Yes, and to YOU: lead your life the way you want it to be. I'm just so aghast by it. Just not to my liking. Don't exactly like people interferring my life and discommode me. My parents know me, therefore they try their best not to step in, and I'm thankful for it.

My mom, despite being annoying at times, really strikes me somehow. How she really leaves me to make my own options. How she thinks that I should make a choice based on what I'm happy with and not what has a good outcome. It in a way gives me more freedom to make my own decisions and lead my life the way I want it to be. Sure, she may be a typical mom at times, nagging, being very abhorent, but I'm still thankful for it. I feel that sometimes she trusts me more with my own decisions, I mean BIG decisions, rather then anyone else. Hee.

I guess God works wonders. I can testify that HE really works in wondrous ways. Every single thing that falls upon you beholds a message from HIM. God, I got the message this time. THANKS MY FATHER! =)

Posted by Brendy at 11:10 PM

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Am i making the right choice really? Am i making the right choice to stay here, to do something i don't wanna do just to please people. YET AGAIN. i realised that these 17 yrs of my life have just been living up to other people's expectations. Im expected to this and that this and that this and that. ITS SICK. sometimes i wonder if it'd all be better if i went away. now im starting to regret staying in singapore. sigh. i hate this place totally. education system here. the people. the place. DISGUSTING. and now, even the place or rather the people. the group that used to make things all better just make it worse for me now. i no longer enjoy the times im there with them just like how i used to look forward to it. it was something i so looked forward to at the end of each week. now its like, should i go? will it be nice? or will it suck like last week. everything's so different, the people, the atmosphere. i have no idea why. perhaps its just cos of certain people. sigh. anyway, god, i'll leave everything up to you. after all i know everything happens for a purpose. and i realised i have absolutel nth to look forward to. sch reopening? absolutely not. im starting to get scared of TJ. after looking at how my frens are coping in there. seems quite bad. sigh. anyway..i might not even get posted there??? maybe the principal wouldnt like my name or sth. HEE. aye aye aye.

there's this place i've taken an exceptional liking for. and that's the esplanade library. it's just soooooo different from the rest of singapore. everything and maybe most people there are kinda more sophisticated. more class and. it's just such a great environment to be alone, to study or whatsoever. unlike other libraries, it doesnt have noisy irritating kids runnig around playing catching or whatever. COS THERE AINT A KIDS SECTION! i think. heh. so yes. im in love with esplanade, and its library. its, unlike typical singapore. =)

Posted by Brendy at 1:23 PM

Saturday, February 18, 2006

(on the left) me and froggie prince (below) EMBARRASSED huang and her exploded ice cream =p

Ok now that the big hoo haa about O's are over and everythings settled down, it's time I wrote my long long long overdue entry. Hee. As it turns out, I didn't screw up my O's as I had predicted. Predictions, i realised aren't normally true. Anyway, I'm just soooooooo glad I'd be joining my darlings in TJC!! ESP one particular one, and that's none other than HUANGYY DARLINGG!!! Oh man how i missed her, and when we finally met up on the day the results were out, I had hell lots of fun with her. It's only with her that I can actually laugh till i cry, and i mean literally. Tears dripped down and my nose watered, all from laughing, and at what? at her silliness of cos. well this is what happened on the deadly afternoon of FEB 10.

we met earlier to catch up before we got our results, as I the pesimisstic one was whining and saying that i'd be killing myself soon after, so we had to see each other first. LOL. yes anyway we met, and she gave me my xmas pressie. This really really really cute froggie prince. hee. ( i heard its magical, i've yet to kiss it, but when i do, tada! a handsome prince would appear.) however i already have a handsome prince and i dun need another one just yet, so im saving it. rite huang? lol
and then, we decided to have ice cream at swensens. i ordered fries, and huang a crunchie cone. the waitress that served us told huang to be careful cos the cone was hard, so ya being HUANG, she must have been like, oh what can happen, its only a cone. but oh boy was she SOOOO wrong, when she bit into it. BOOM! BAM!! and explosion occurred!!! the cone had exploded! RIGHT IN OUR FACES! hahha. im not exaggerating, ok maybe just a lil. but yes the cone broke and bits and pieces flew everywhere, and to make things worse, the waitress came by and she was like, I warned you. LOL! and yes we burst into hysterical laughter, unable to control ourselves as usual. and tears started flowing down our cheeks. hee. and i started some crap by saying, OH HUANG! I TOLD YOU NOT TO HAVE A CRUSH ON ME! SEE LAH SO NERVOUS INFRONT OF ME UNTIL CONE ALL BREAK! HAHAHAH! yes, that was how lame it got. but it sure did calm our nerves a lil. hee.
and so we went to school. GRRR WHAT A NIGHTMARE. it's the worst worst feeling u can ever get. people were crying even before the results were out. lol. and the talk by ms liu, it seemed eternity, and guess what, i dun remember a word she said. haha. but anyway its all over! im just so glad i can be with all my darlings, huang, zhe ya, bixia, cheryl, dine, maryam... haha. whee!! like i told huang, we're gonna grab all the attention in TJ eh! ahhahahahah! just kidding.

hmmm. i went to sentosa that day. oh man! the LUGE RIDE IS SO FUN!i'm so goin again sometime soon. hee. anyway, i'll update sometime soon again! AU REVOIR!!!

Posted by Brendy at 12:04 PM

Saturday, February 11, 2006

CAN THE WHOLE WORLD STOP ASKING ME WHAT I GOT FOR O'S!!
all im saying is i did ok..will be goin to TJC cos I JUST WANNA GO THERE. hais.
so tired of all this. why does everyone make such a big hooha out of everything. its only o levels!

ok sorry just so irritated. nevertheless glad id be joining my darling girls and jon in TJ. dad wants me to go to VJ but like i said its as good as asking me to kill myself. heh. yeah dat bad.

lol. so anyways. god really helped me for the fact i screwed up my prelims and slacked throughout the whole yr and only really studied one month before o's and can still get this kinda results. really i realised ive been really much of a slacker as my frens would noe. haha. sigh. god really works wonders but still, he only helps those who helps themselves. but sigh..like 4 yrs of green is not enough.. another 2 yrs of green will drive me nuts! hais..ok..nvm..enough of this..

Posted by Brendy at 11:44 AM

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Yesterday was certainly a day to be remembered.It started off with a msg from my darling in the morning telling me to wake up. Slept so late the night before so i couldn't really open my eyes the next morning, but the thought of going to church with my boy made me spring out of bed. Met him in church and attended mass, we were just slightly late. Hee. Mass was enjoyable.Fr Tou's last mass in holy family. Kinda sad, gonna miss his unclear speaking. Hee.I think homily was sth bout having faith in the lord? I think. Hee! Was really sleepy. After which we walked to my house, indecisive me didn't want to go to parkway, but when the bus came, i just somehow pulled Jon up.Heh. Walked around in pp for awhile, bot some cute stuff, then Jon walked me home. I was sooooooo tired but somehow the long long walk home seemed so short. I wonder why. Haha. Under normal circumstances if I had been that tired and all alone, i would have taken a cab back from parkway, yes parkway. As you know my house is really near to pp ,itd be a total waste of money. heh. Slept until Jon called me at 4 plus, had a tiny headache. Jon's dad came to pick me up and I went to their house for dinner. His mom cooked up a sumptuous meal. Went up to watch Tv after dinner. Jon's dad then came up and asked us to go down for 'dessert'. haha. I found it rather weird cos we already had dessert. the lights were switched off and suddenly jon's mom walked out of the kitchen holding a cake with lit candles and they all started singing me a birthday song, and then my boy came down with his guitar and attempted to strum but, wells good effort sweetheart. HAHAHA! i was so so so so touched by them. His mom remembered my birthday when i didnt even rmb telling her. really felt so good and thankful. hee. although its a days away from my actual birthday, i already know that this is gonna be a VERY unforgettable bdae. hee.

Night before last was not bad too. Supposed to follow Edmond, Greg and Grismond to Malaysia for seafood. However cos of all those reports in the newspaper, dad said it was too dangerous, but wells I'd be having 3 bodyguards with me. Haha! Sigh. Anyhows they came over for supper. Haha. Thanks for the food guys. Heh. Slept bout 4.

I dunno why but i seem to like being in crowds more. I open up more and find it more fun. Maybe i just love my frens. Heee. But being alone is good too, but I can't stand too much of it. Hee. I needa be happening. Maybe that's why I get so tired. Haha. Results will be out on friday. After my birthday. Thank God. Peaceful birthday at least. Heh.

Posted by Brendy at 10:30 PM

Friday, February 03, 2006

Sometimes i wonder why i even get myself involved in such stuff when i know nothing good will come out of it. I mean what possible good could happen, i should have known. Utterly disappointed with myself, and I'm sorry to you whom I may have hurt. Didn't mean to. But sometimes certain things just cause you to act to irrationaly. Heh. What was i thinking really. All i can say is I'm sorry. Hope friendship stays and shan't have anything to do with 'the fren'. Nothing ever happened. Sigh

Posted by Brendy at 12:15 PM

Thursday, February 02, 2006

this entry is to my sugar pie honey bunch swee huang! haha..huang i've yet to write an entry on you. you better write one on me too k. haha

huang is my bestest buddy in my 17 years of life. she has made me realise that good frenships are not established neccessarily with time but rahter how fate brings you together. i've known her for only 2 years or so but she's even more dear and close to me den any other person i've known for 5, 6 years or even 10 years for that matter. it's amazing how everything just fell into place, how we sat together for sooooooooo long, how we wore braces together and how i enjoyed suaning her when i was braceless before her. how we were so excited when we were both braceless, how she'd tolerate all my nonsense, my singing, my crapping. how we were so alike in so many ways, how our bros happen to know each other, how we both happen to have boyfrens, how we both happen to be at the same stage ( erm actually i think huangs gone ahead of me, rite huang? HAHAHA)sorry inside joke. bearing with my bad temperments, my bluntness, she's always been ther listening to my problems and giving my constructive advice. she's someone i can trust and suprisingly i understand her pretty well, at least better den most eh huang? haha.. she's seen me through the most tough time of a teenagers life, all the relationships and of cos the dreadful o's. those sleepover nights we had, how three people ended up on a single bed, how we talked late into the night would be etched in my memory forever and i hope that there'd be more of that to come. here's to our everlasting frenship sugar pie honey bunch! you noe i love you! you're my number one darling! AHHAHAHAHA! ok that sounded les. dun cry k! see ya soon!

Posted by Brendy at 1:14 AM

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

It's a wonder how something as small and unimportant like the o levels results can get me so stressed out like that. ok who am i kidding, it is not small neither is it unimportant. and maybe that's why im so tremendously worried and yes not to mention panicky. ever since sec three, it has been a pain to look at any academic results i'd get back. somehow they just weren't up to anybody's standards. it's always been that bummed feeling and i'm just wondering if it be that same old familiar feeling with the o's. touch wood. i hope not and im praying i'd get to feel that different feeling for once in my two years of upper sec life. you see i made a horrible choice by taking 3 pure sciences and then struggling with all. im just not a science person as any of you who knows me would know. therefore it results in me getting a grade that leaves me wondering if i should just quit school altogether. haha. ok im kidding but ya results have been really depressing so far and unfortunately in singapore, all people even care about is the results. RESULTS! occasionally you get some bullshit from whoever that results are not everything and its the character blah blah, but at the end of the day does your character get you in to a good college? no its the RESULTS that matter. anyway the next time i blog, it'd either be i screwed up o's or i did ok. not gonna think bout doin exceptionally well. sigh..it's not that i have no faith in myself, it's just that i've had too many setbacks academically wise. hee..

anyway trip to thailand was quite good.it almost felt like the old old brenda when i kinda had a tiny crush on this thai guy at the hotel. oh man he's reallly handsome and charming, not to mention speaks good english and so gentlemanly. bout early 20s i guess. haha. it's been a long time since i felt that way with everything happening in singapore. i just cant afford to have any crushes you see. actually well, not crushes but admiration rather.haha.and in singapore, i had another admiration for edmond's fren! haha. ok im not really being serious here, but well that guy sure has charisma, at least to me. we were paying blackjack and the banker had 27, he had 25 or sth, he was like, oh so i still win rite? hahahhaa!! how cute is that. ok i should stop it. again im not being serious. haha. but i sure do miss those days where all i had were crushes and no major major commitments or whatsoever. heh.
ok i shan't go there or huang and angie's prob gonna be shaking their head. sigh.haha.

i still cant believe the results might be on my birthday. 7 FEB!! people 7 FEB!! hahah. sigh..saddening. i really dun like it here one bit. really hope i'd be able to fly away to study. oh man. someone bring me away!

Posted by Brendy at 10:55 AM

Monday, January 23, 2006

Sigh. Life is a blur now. Really sick and tired of everything's that been happening around me. How people always expect from me. These few days, I've been spending more time on my own. I feel it's time i payed more attention to myself rather than to the people around me. I am no longer going to bother about always making people feel good or happy when I do not even feel good myself. I'm sick of always having people around me. I have not much time left to enjoy before the sickening results are out and disgusting singapore education starts again. Now I'm wondering if not going to Aussie to study is a good choice. I hate this place. This small little boring island. Where everyone only cares about themselves. Singapore is good on its own but the people living in it are a shame. Somehow, visiting other countries makes you realise how shallow and selfish the people are here. Sigh. Ok enough of that.

So yes as I was saying, it's time i payed attention to myself. Do what I want and not what people want me to do. I have a life, my life. I'm sorry to those I've hurt due to this realisation, but yes, where we're living, you just got to think of yourself and nothing else.

Choir was good on saturday. Almost felt like the good ole choir days, but somehow something was lacking. Everything's just not as fun anymore. Not sure why. Probably because there are too much politics in the choir. Can't everyone just not make such a big deal out of small matters? Some people just get on my nerves. Not mentioning who, but at the end of the day, I still love G2 and especially the ones that make it so nice.Daffy, Darren, Greg, Marilyn, Sand, Ems, Prissy, Dione, Duane, Noeleeee, Kenneth, Winnie, Elden, Stacy, Sam, Darryl, Mic, Ants.These people. Thanks so much.You guys make G2 fun. Hee.

Yeah I hope certain things get better, cause I'm quite sick and tired of them.
AND WHY MUST THE O'S RESULTS BE ONE DAY BEFORE MY BDAE! IM GONNA HAVE A DEPRESSED 17th BIRTHDAY. THANKS MINISTRY OF EDUCATION SINGAPORE FOR THE LOVELY PRESENT. URGHS!

Posted by Brendy at 1:44 PM

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

tonight was wonderfully wonderful. edmond and greg picked me up from jon's place den headed to ocean park for a game of tennis. thanks jo..=) ok i didnt play much. hit two BRAND NEW BALLS OUT!GRRR! sorry edmond..haha..after that we went to lagoon for dinner..I HATE EDMOND! i was supposed to buy him dinner! he refused! supposed to buy him a drink and ended up, he buying me one..i swear it tasted like it had some soursop juice in it..heee..it was sugarcane juice btw..I HATE HIM!!!heee..YOU'RE TOOOO NICE TO MEEEEE!! after dinner we took a walk down the beach..greg and sam were having fun shouting.ahha..sat on the sand for awhile listening to the splashing of the waves(it was therapeutic)and attempting to count the number of aeroplanes in the sky..it was a lovely lovely sight..i wanna go to the beach at night more often..its beautiful..sigh..im starting to like the beach alot..i feel unbelievably free there...although i dun really like the sea..yeah..talked awhile den we left..

AND...on the journey home..our dear dear edmond tried scaring me with the disgustingly hideous meal worms dat were food to his disgustingly hideous fish back home..being my violent self..i started hitting and pinching him whilst screaming at the top of my lungs..sorry greg and sam if you guys turn deaf..haha..yeah..and guess wad the worm dropped onto the floor in the car and its nowhere to be found..brilliant edmond..spent bout 15 mins at my house looking for the groosss worm..ewwww..i hate insects..like totally totally hate em..heh

wells..i think we should have this kinda night more often..was really fun..hee.thanks guys!! i feeel sooooooo happy now..heee..
just hope bubbs is as happy.. =)

Posted by Brendy at 12:13 AM

Friday, January 13, 2006

that's just a few pics..rough idea of japan..such a pity couldnt take pics of the hotspring..heeee..*grin..yeah japan was fantastic...i miss it..sooo much..come to me if u wanna see more pics..heee..