Dreams Can Come True

Im losing it

2010-10-29T01:43:00.002+08:00

Why do i feel like everything is just crumbling down.

First, one has to torture by constantly going mad, the other, I'm just sad, and disappointed with the other.

I thought I could rely on him to take me out of this shit, I thought I wanted him to help me find who I am again, who I was when I was 17. But I guess, it was simply wishful thinking. He's more concerned with his current life, happily flirting away with the better sex, getting caught up with the ever so fulfilling schoolwork, wanting certain desires, horribly DISGUSTING. And I thought I could rely on someone who supposedly knew me better than anyone else. I guess I can't, it's absolutely horrendously DISGUSTING. I never thought one could become that different over a few years.

I hate opening up to others about my feelings deep down. Sure i may tell some closer frens what shit im going through, but deep down there's more, and I dont say. They think I'm always happy and cheerful. Really? Look harder. I hate everything the way it is now. I hate school, I hate some people around me, I hate him, and him. At home, I pretend to be okay. People that think they know whats going on, they have no fucking idea how much I've sacrificed and given up for that person that does nothing but hurts me, yet pretends to be some nice sweet guy infront of friends in fear of rejection.

I've made up my mind. Gone with him and him. I will get through this myself, despite me feeling like giving everything up. but i will fight it strong, I will learn never to think that I can depend on you. You will never understnad and I don't think you care.

2010-10-24T16:50:00.000+08:00

It really hurts me to see that you just don't seem to give a damn about anything. I guess I can understand, I'd have felt the same way too.. But, has everything been lost? All the memories?

Guess you prob think that I don't know what I want again, but fact is, I think I do know what I want. But seeing your nonchalance, I'm thinking twice. Perhaps it's time to close the possibility that I've had in my head for a few yrs now. I don't think I can or have the energy to keep up with you anyway. I'll give it awhile more, once I'm sure what I sense is right, I will close this possibility forever and never ever look back.

sometimes people get blinded by things, and fail to see that there's someone there that really treasures him/her be it as just frens, or more. but what can we do.

I will close the door, soon. It will be a pity i feel, but I guess that's what u want :)

This blog is getting more and more depressing! But I'm fine...

deja vu

2010-10-23T14:03:00.002+08:00

this deja vu feeling.

4 years ago, i felt it. yes, no, yes, no? i thought it was a yes, people said maybe it's a no..

So i moved on.

Then half a year later, my suspicions were confirmed, it was a yes.

So anyway, deja vu, because I'm feeling the same way again. Sometimes you just want an answer. But you know that the answer doesn't just fall from no where. But do I have the courage to search for the answer? I don't know.

It shocks me to realise how apt that song is now. The song that , once held loads of meaning, and then lost its meaning and its back. for good? I don't know.

It takes certain experiences for you to realise what you really want in life. But, once you let certain things go, you might never get it back again, but is that fair? Perhaps it isnt, but I gotta live with it.

After all I did say, whatever's meant to be, is meant to be.

So I shall leave this to God. Lead me and guide me.

2010-09-30T00:00:00.002+08:00

Here I am again.

I just need to rant my feelings, and no i do not feel like talking to someone about it, because talking to people just complicate matters even more.

Therefore, blog shall be my confidante for now.

So ok, now where do I go next. What am I doing? I don't even know.

All i know it's that, I am having difficulty drawing the line between past and present. I feel myself living in the past when suddenly it hits me, hey, you're no longer who you were, and things aren't the same anymore.

But I miss that familiarity, somehow. I know I shouldn't, but I've been missing it for 3 years. It's weird. How things always play out to be not like how you'd think it would be.

Anyway, all I can say is, I shall leave this up to God, because right now I am in absolutely no capacity to decide on my next course of action. I am in a sea of confusion, a really dark murky sea.

Oh God please tell me what to do now?

2010-09-27T21:37:00.002+08:00

It's been two years.

Time has flown indeed, and of all times, when I should be studying for my midterms, I suddenly have this sudden urge to type something on my long abandoned but memory filled blog.

Perhaps, it's the series of events that have been happening in my life, been playing little tricks and games with me.

I thought I knew what I was doing, I always think I know what I am doing. But now, it becomes all too murky and it isn't so clear anymore.

I still lay in bed, thinking and sometimes trying to fight back the tears. How foolish was I to let something so important just go. Like that. For no rhyme or reason.

But I always force myself to stop thinking, it's not fair to everyone. So I stop, I run away from it.

But I know. It's still there, somehow, eating through me. I have to face it.

I will soon, but I don't know how.

Please teach me.

2008-07-04T01:28:00.003+08:00

Its the last half hour of my closing shift at the airport! time just flew by today! My past few weeks have been extremely eventful, and right now I feel like I can just fly!

First of all, our 'Angels In Disguise' concert was a blast! Really successful! Thanks everyone for putting so much effort! =) I'm sure we touched many..Anyhows past few weeks were filled with choir practices 3 times a week..

Last week, Kathy and I were down at suntec city to be tourism ambassadors for the International Water week exhibition! Well, the first day was really really boring. we walked around countless times and took note of some good catches! then the day ended..Second and Third days suddenly became soooooooooooooo Fun! time just flew by! Kathy and I were the ambassadors and Jessie was at the mobile SVC counter, so it just rocked! Kat and I ended up walking around giving out magazines and making friends with people of all nationalities! Kathy spotted a few guys..but one caught her eye the most, shan't say who..hee..but anyway, one did catch my eye from the first day..and well i shan't elaborate here cos its not really ready to be out in the open..but all i can say is that, God works wonders..on the second day, we decided to go for a durian buffet at carlton hotel after work..so at 6, we three went to walk around in suntec for abit then when to have our buffet! MAN THE DURIAN CAKE WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kathy and jessie especially liked the durian pudding...oh and the chocolate fondue was..OMG! the brownie and the sweet strawberries, raspberries...WERE AWESOME! and there was movenpick ice cream..my reaction was hilarious when i ate the choco mint flavour..but kathy and jessie soon understood why..it was just HEAVEN! hee..it sooooo fun workign with them..but we sure do spend alot, cos lunch time we had a korean meal! Man I miss working with them already.. =(

On tuesday, I went to the night safari with Torbjourn, my new swedish fren..Kathy..dont worry i'll help you with andrew! heee...and ya..that 'person' is useless now.. we both know who! arghs! remember how i was saying that im just naturally annoyed with 'the person'..from the minute we spoke..HAHHAHAH!!!!! but wells according to Torb, andrews a good catch..Kathy Kathy!!!
Anyhows night safari was sooooooooooooooo fun..I LOVE THE SAFARIIIIIIII!! and i was just there a month ago..plus company was GREATTTT..Torb's such a lovely guy..despite him being too tall.. like 192..hahahha..will post pictures soon..hee..I totally embarrassed myself when i grabbed him and screamed when a squirrel jumped down! AHAHHAHA! Will be meeting Torb during the weekend before i leave for auzzieland on monday! THEN ILL BE GONE FOR 2 WEEKS! =( my dad and mom are bit retarded..asking me real weird stuff! heh!

ah! its time to close up this place.shall continue again soon! ta!

2008-06-18T11:49:00.002+08:00

hahah! the hilarious parents! i think they didnt wanna meet us, but we caught them at the lift in the extremely comical outfit for the onsen(hot spring)! i think we three girls took pics too, but its with daffy! haha!
mommy, and our spread of food! yummy!!!!
me with a small sakura branch..hahahah
the ladies, caught in the act! it was super funny to see the 4 of them there cos the daddys were asking us where the ladies went cos they were locked out! but we didnt know and we were also on our way to the onsen..and as we walked in, we suddenly spotted the 4 of them huddled together in the feet onsen! AHAHHAHAHA
we were captured on the screen in the ishiya choc factory! hee so cool!

2008-06-18T11:39:00.002+08:00

all these pictures are super blur cos daffy hasnt given me the photos but the moms developed them already, so i took it with my camera..like from the developed ones..AHHAHAHA!
anyway this is in the middle of some place..cant rmb where!
konbanwa! room service?HAHAHA! so pretty! daffy doo looks SOOOOOOOOO young!
SUPER NICE PIC! real flowers mind you! incredible! this was at ishiya chocolate factory!
daffys dad captured this, super nice! and we have no idea when he took it!
us! except daffy who was taking the picture!

2008-06-18T11:08:00.004+08:00

the parents, we were in a ramen store! the typical jap kind!
our tatami style room! had like 3 nights or so in diff tatami hotels!
prissy poo and me, after climbing up the many stairs that almost killed us! wind was so strong that it could have blown us away! yay!
we three musketeers soaking our feet in the hot foot onsen! haha! thats the ONLY ONSEN daffy was willing to go..she could only bare to bare her feet naked, nothing else! AHAHAH

me at a VERY VERY VERY smell sulphur place! gross

2008-06-18T10:42:00.002+08:00

KONICHIWA! haha..dun we look so pretty!
look at teh size of the HUGGGGGGGGGG crabs!
asahi beer factory! =) soon after prissy and me turned RED! hee! wad can be better than fresh beer!
ramen street!

JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN!!! WOOHOO!! the smoke that was coming up from the drains...its a hot spring area! super cool!! and it was freezing, if it doesnt look like it..hahahah

2008-06-16T17:43:00.002+08:00

whee, im doing closing again, so yes, its blogging time! haha!

lets see, yesterday, we had the franciscan run at st marys church, so michaela picked clara and i up at like 6 and we headed there! we had to run 5km in pairs so i was paired up w clara! hmm actually it wasnt too bad, though at times it felt like it was never ending..heh..and for the record the genesians present were brenda aka me, clara, sandrine, marilyn, andrea, joanne, elden, jonlims, kenneth,anthony, chris, brandon, shaun, darren, ferd, bryan, boggs, jared..
after which we went to st theresas so practice with the musicians..and after that, darren fetched clara home and anton,bran and darren fetched me home to change. we were plannin on going out..darren decided not to drive so went in shauns car.
the rest in between is redundant
so anyway, bran and i went to shop and then had dinner, was supposed to meet darren and all but, hmms..
so after dinner we walked to clarke quay to meet anton and prissy and had a drink at highlanders..somehow pris and i felt that the time we drank with o pa was like much better..cos clarke quay on a sunday is real boring..oh but but, o pa called me while i was having dinner..and he was in cameron highlands..how funny! heh..

but anyways, like wad bran said, yesterday was pretty random..oh wells.. hahah
blah blah blah, we went home bout 1 plus..

-the present-

ok great so its not gonna happen, what was i thinking..seriously..well i guess everyone has their fair share..uhuh..its annoying though..

bro fetched me to work today, but thats cos he was happy cos his job interview was successful, haha congrats kor kor..lol..

why is time passing sooooooo slowly today...arghs..

2008-06-13T06:18:00.003+08:00

oh my oh my! anuenghaseyo!
ok, out of your korean mood bren...well its been sooooo long since i last updated, as usual..so i really dun know where to start cos sooooooooooooooooooooo much stuff have happened, and..
ok, in chronological order..

MAY
HMM!! i cant remember, all i remember is that i went to japan for a week with parents, their frens and my boobie darling prissy! hahaha, and daffyyyyyy dooo daphne! hahahaha! hokkaido, was.. ok not bad..BUT I LOVE JAPAN! omg! and it was soooooooooooooooooooo fun with the two girls. a pity though that daffy refused to join me and pris in the fully naked onsen ( hot spring), cos every hotel we stayed in was a hot spring hotel! and OMG! from the apprehensive girls that didnt dare to strip, we became the onsen fans who gave no cahoots bout openly stripping and sitting in a row to bathe and then jumping into the HOT water! it grew onto us so much that on the last night, because we were staying in the city, we kept crying out for onsen, and even wanted to make our own feet onsen in the bath..hee..of cos, since its been a month ago, i cant remmeber much, but if i have time ill post pics! whee!! and its like the whole trip, the adults were so envious of us 3 girls cos we seemed to be doing everything the smarter way unlike them..hee! the feeling was kinda awesome..and honestly we've never seen our parents fool around so much before, it was HILARIOUS! of cos, not forgetting the HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE crabs we ate for quite a few meals, and the beef that we three girls totally went crazy over! woohoo! it was a fantabulous trip cos of the great company i had, and of cos JAPAN is a lovely lovely place!

following on:
JUNE

ok yesterday and tuesday, i brought won seok o pa around some places in singapore! ok i pulled prissy along w me...ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I LOVE KOREANNNNNNNNNN!!! and thanks to o pa( brother) my korean improved! speak to me in korean yall! and i can sing the bear song that rain sang in full house! yay! anyway, we'll prob go to korea in december or sth cos o pa said he'll bring us around! woohoo! or maybe if he isnt done w travelling round the world, we can only go in june/july next year..but seriously, he seems so rich man..tsk! annoying, i wanna travel the world too.. i mean hes only 22 and ok the only child so his parents prob fund everything for him! heh..lucky dude..anyway, it was really fun cos pris and i are like always ranting in korean and we actually got to practice it on a real korean guy! too bad he left to go to malaysia so soon, cos of his fren ..that baboya! hahaha..anyways..o pa ( i forgot how to say i'll miss you in korean)..chai ga! (take care) hee! and he gave me a korean coin, 100 won, to keep as a souvenir..hahah! prissy, sorry for making you get a headache cos we went to drink! ahhaha!! apparently korean girls and guys drink alot! arghs..but it was fun wasnt it! we got to see dancing elephants at the pump room in clarke quay.heeeeee...anyhows, cant wait to go to korea and let o pa bring us around.. he lives in seoul! hee..i think im mad, well he thinks i am cos he said he hasnt met anyone who wants to learn korean so much!

also, on tuesday, i brought my cousins french exchange fren around orchard, well ok ,until o pa came..and they kinda wandered off..but the french girl margarate is really sweet and nice..we also went to the zoo and night safari yesterday..OMG it was soo nice...seriously, i havent been to the zoo and night safari in like a million years.. and im always recommending it to tourists. but thanks to aunty who paid for me, its was freakin 45 bucks. blearghs.. and tessa was like mad..over the ben and jerrys guy..it was so weird cos when we walked in they were like acting all weird.. then when we left they were like so enthusiastic to say bye..then we went back again to get one more ice cream and mine was dripping all over my hand like mad! so one of the guys was like, tissue? and the other was like put it in the cup, and when i put it in, (what tessa heard, i didnt) said, happy? to the other..hur..and they gave me a new one and asked me to hush hush bout it.. oh man how embarrassing! anyhows, tessa saw the name of the cuter guy but not the other not so cute one..oh man my dearest cousin is walking in my foot steps..hahahah, just kidding..but i was seriously shocked she even knew his name! lol..anyhows, the animals were really cute, but the zoo was a tad too disappointing..blearghs..night safari, in my opinion was much cooler, in every way..( It WAS LIKE ULTRA HOT AND HUMID in the day) singapore's weather is DISGUSTING! and i realised that after bringing foreigners around, i realised that sg is realllllll boring..honestly..sigh..singapore ought to look at their pricing if they intend to attract tourism in the long term..it has to consider who the countries around us are...so much cheaper and so much more to see..sigh..

ok this has gone on much longer than i have expected..later im going shopping at bugis! ahhaa..again..hee.life just rocks now..and even though church choir concert practices are in full swing, 3 times a week,and though practices can be really disheartening, with like pple not bothering to turn up, its still good cos at the end of the day we're doing this for god..and..ya..hahah

alright..time to work...

2008-04-21T08:55:00.004+08:00

whee! haha! yesterdays g2 outing at ecp was fantabulous! right now im aching terribly..from laughing too much and from captains ball, frisbee, softball.. etc..hee! DARLING darren was his bitchy self, and bimbotic prissy was as bimbotic as ever ( all soppies are), then there was daffy, sandrine, clara, sam, dom, chris, shaun, blah blah blah.. during dinner, we were laughing like MADDD cos pris and i were trying to be koreans! omg hilarious..

and yesterday, dearest clara had to be around to hear my horrigible confession of love to DARLING darren..to think he didnt believe a word i said..HAHAHA..oh wells, cos he was trying to probe sth outta me, so i tried to shut him up by saying that i liked him....like oh darren ive liked you for such a long time..hahaha! well who noes right? hmm... HAHAHA! was really funny when he threw the frisbee ,i missed, i threw back to him he missed.and he said, darling, we shouldnt be missing each other..oh god! hahaha..well not bad to have a doctor bf ya..EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW..gross..hahahhaha

during captains ball, our team that consisted of daffy, darren, me, shaun aka shauna , eunice was totally whooping the other team! haha! we rock man! woohoo!and to think we had only one guy on the team since shauna is a girl..hahaha..really agressive one too..lol..poor daffy kicked the big elephant elden and sprained her lil toe! so we stopped playing..haha...

then, throwing our korean bbq plans aside, we headed down to lagoon..gosh like 5 of us squeezed into the back of eunice's car..haha..and man, they ordered LOADs of food, chicken wings, sting ray....and so on..haha!

really had a fun time, apart from the part when i kept whining to clara then i shall only be able to watch someones back, be a metre away from the person...blah..nvm..hahah...sigh..i was emoing in darrens car for a lil while...or maybe i was just practically exhausted from the laughing and games.. and soon after dropping elden and shaun off, i was brutally abusing shaun's winnie the pooh...oopss..hahahaha..sorry..lol!

and right now, prissy and i are still deciding if we should attend world youth day in sydney, or just go there on our own, OR GO TO KOREA!
hahahaha...KOREA seems pretty attractive since we both can speak KOREAN SO DARN WELL! YEYY!! BO!! ANYUNGHASEYO!KAMSAHAMIDA! KENCHANAYO? KA JI MA! hahahhahaha
and we could use our limited vocab to make up some stupid story bout someone ordering a chicken and it being uncooked..blah blah...hilarious!
BI YA NEH YO!

heh..ok i shall go write freddys stupid feedback..heh..idiot freddy! blearghs!!! I HOPE YOU SEE THIS!!!!!!! DUN BE SO IDIOTIC ALREADY OK! hahaha! =PPPPP

alrightys off now..heee

ireallylikeya

2008-04-08T01:00:00.003+08:00

Once again I'm here in Terminal 3 doing closing till 2.15 am! It has finally hit my hard that today was the second last lesson of my driving, with Wed being the last and Thurs, my practical test. Shit, now i know why I am so depressed. Reasons being, one, I'm so going to miss driving lessons with Freddy! It has been so fun and really enjoyable, crapping half the time and laughing like mad, almost losing control of the car. Freddy has been such a great instructor/friend and it is kind of sad to think that I will no longer be in the car with him teaching me how to drive, and reminding me to check blindspots. Gosh, so emo, but it is. I really hope that we will still catch up or something even when I've passed because I totally hate letting go of a friendship that has somehow been developed, irregardless of who it is, esp if you click well. HaHa. Second reason why I'm so depressed is the amounts of responsibilities I have now. Work, and other stuff, I really ought to be enjoying myself and all now man. Well work sure is fun but tiring, real tiring. Haha. Still love it though.

Will be going to Bintan with my cousin next week! Its time for some SPA! Yay! Suntanning and SPA, I really need it. Parents are planning a trip to Hokkaido in May, hee, can't wait!

Hmmm, I don't know why it just seems weird to see Asian girls with Caucasian guys. I know its nothing wrong but somehow SPG just comes to my mind. Haha.

Been having lots of psychological and emotional struggles lately. I told Fred today that I feel like turning lesbian! Haha, I know that is kinda impossible for me, looking at who I am, but I'm tired of having so much commitments, esp if its to other people. Right now, I pretty much want my own time to do the things I want to do. Sigh. My mom freaked out when I told her I am going to start going for 30 over yr old guys! Haha! Met my parents' relations manager in ABN Amro, the one mom wants to matchmake with my cousin. Haha! I gave him a nickname and ha, my mom's definitely going to burst out laughing the next time she talks to him! Haha! Well he is not bad looking, tall, hmm..HAHA!

Hmm, driving today was good as usual, it is so comforting to see that Fred has so much confidence in me. =) Hope I don't disappoint you! The last lesson before today was extremely hilarious. Fred finally came back from his surgery, ouch! Take care man. A pity I had plans after lesson so couldn't follow him to watch his bro jam. Wells, next time maybe.

Yes, you can see, I'm real bored here! Heh.

Oh wells, good luck to me, and I hope I cheer up!

2008-02-28T23:48:00.004+08:00

Ok here I am again, to blog, cos you know what, yes, im working all alone here in terminal 2 transit hall and i end at 2.15am! arghs! which means i have 3 hours to go! i can do it!

anyway its finally today that im fully slapped awake! oh god, finally after all my self denials! its really true when the say never judge a book by its cover. well, its terrible how i thought this person WAS actually sweet and sensible and nice and all, but oh we were hell wrong, precisely why i used the word ' WAS'. lets just say im absolutely disgusted by how egoistic, loserish, and oh man, disgusting that certain person is! so sour just cos i dont reciprocate? HAHAHAHA! LOSER!

(ha, they are uprooting the trees in the fern garden in T2 and tourists are watching and taking videos like its so darn interesting, well it is, kinda! hahahha! they're tugging and pulling!oh at least im being entertained!)

ok back to bitching, yeah, im just so totally appalled at how terrible someone can be! superficial and fake, 100 percent loser! thus, the story is over! yay!

THE END
(some guy just took a picture of svc, with me in it! yucks)

Hmmm, gosh its only 12, bout 2 hours left! I WILL survive! prob going blading with jonny tmr, and then dinner with bran on sat! its been so long brandy! =) im having a severe backache from sitting man! oh dear i think i just gave a guy wrong directions! oh shit! arghs! i hope he finds his way! sigh...when it comes to 12 my brain just stops working! oh no no!

ok, i think i should like go study my theory or sth! haha! cant wait to get home and jump into my bed! and sigh! i feel sooooooo detached from god again! there was this period when i was sooooooo close to god, every night without fail thered be a conversation, now i just go home and sleep and with work on weekends, missed church as well! i hate myself!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! but nvm, ive committed myself to the G2 concert committee, which means i'll have a more active religious life! whee! I decided to joint the committee cos i noe that thats the best way to bring myself back and contribute more!

btw, why do caucasians like to use cheers so much! i had two guys saying cheers to me today! hahah! cute!

BRENNNNN AND HER LIFE NOW

2008-02-13T23:50:00.004+08:00

hellooo...hmmm..im dead bored now..cos im like here at terminal 2 transit working, and im all alone..i hate closing shifts man..haha..but i absolutely love working at the airport..wheeeeeeeeeeee...haha...hmm, 2 more hours to 2.15 am, i hope i survive..and im not supposed to use the com here for personal stuff..but oh wells..i dun wanna die of boredom...GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

i predict that this is gonna be a super duper long entry since im so free..i love this job mainly cos i get to interact with people from all over the world, being in the singapore visitor centre..and well i have to admit that my knowledge of singapore has certainly increased..so pple out there, if u need ideas on where to go or what to do in singapore, do come to me..hahahaha...not forgetting the working environment here in the airport is lovely, pple are really friendly, right now i seem to noe pple everywhere..even the left baggage counter guys..hahahahah..gosh thats damn funny...and the hermes ashley, mr cisco officer, and ferrari shop person..and..arghs..alot..plus i work with many lovely pple as well, HUAY HAN! ahhaha, joanna, maria, xinyi , xingying..hahahaha..blah blah! =) dread the day when uni starts and ill have to stop..=(

talking bout that, dad heard from the reporters in his office that A's results are like next friday..and i heard from qisi that our batch did really badly so much so that they are gonna do away with this dumb new syllabus..well we're lab guinea pigs u see..but seriously, its a DUMB system, whoever thought of it...

hmmm...since the start of this year sooooo much stuff has happened..and im absolutely loving it..driving, my new job and all..plus my new haircut and colour which i love.=) hee..i dun wan all this to end!!!! driving, its quite a chore to drive really, with all the traffic in singapore! grrr..

(not a single soul here)

arhgs..its only 12am now! 2 more hours! go brenda! hmmm apparently i dun seem to be known as brenda, so far ive had random pple at the airport calling me weird names..like theresa, xingying... HELLO IM BRENDA FOR GODS SAKE! haahaha..dun i look like one?!!

hmmm.. i so wanna go back to taiwan again..it was such a lovely trip...with dear huang and bixia! yay! meeting them on friday, and tmr im meeting dear arthi farthi for valentines lunch.hahahhahha!!! seems like i have lotsa les partners...

GOSH IM SO BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!

xinyi is at terminal 3 and we're supposed to talk on the phone..hahaha..sigh..so boringg...but wells at least i get paid doing nothing..hmm but in the day its really busy...so oh wells..i shall study my advanced theory now! dun wanna fail man! hmm..sooooooo yeah,, off i go, nice to talk to you again bloggy, sorry that i have neglected you for so long!! MUAHSSS

gosh i really am crazy..

2007-12-06T02:38:00.000+08:00

ok wait..whats happening..im actually back to blog? when my last entry was like what april? hahhaa..anyway prob no one will see this too since ive given the impression that this blog is dead. nevertheless since its almost 3am and i cant sleep cos of ...nvm...i shall blog!

THE A's ARE LIKE OVER....well quite some time ago though...and im back from my trip too..went to germany and ireland..ireland to visit bro! it was a great trip,lotsa sightseeing and lots and lots of chocs..=) hmmm...and i pulled my very own pint of guiness stout and the guiness storehouse in dublin! how cool is that..there's really so much more, so maybe ill just post pics soon..oh and the xmas markets in dresden, Germany were....AWESOME, thats an understatement..

last night...we had our prom!!! and marina mandarin! my oh my, i had loads of fun! and then me huang, xia, and ida proceeded to zouk..the songs were boring after awhile, crowd died down..duh, tuesday night..but nevertheless really had fun going wild man..woohoo..and not forgetting that guy that gave huang a flower, and the guy that came to sing and dance w me, and told me im hot, only to make me wanna walk away even more..but he was quite cute..=) and thanks to bixia i now know who he is ..*winks* hee...oh wells.......... left at 3 plus when it ended, 3 of us cabbed to my place and watched a movie then walked to ecp for macs and returned again at 8. that sounded pretty exhausting, well it was man! no sleep at all and all the mad dancing! plus my heels that were killing me that i danced bearfoot at irregular intervals..hee...

playin for mass this sat cos noel is away..havent played in ages..xmas is coming! =) its all bout the birth of jesus christ yall! ahhaha...

btw, i think i liked my hair..soooooo..if anyone has a function to attend try out modele at city link, very reasonble pricing! =) but make an appointment..

hmmm..ok im starting to feel sleepy, god knows when my next entry will be...

huang and bixia, to taiwan we will go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)
and i love you guys!!!!!!!!!

2007-04-15T10:15:00.000+08:00

Don't really have time to blog, BUT darling huangy deserves a mention! Went out with her on Fri! MAN IT WAS AWESOME!! cant wait for our shopping trip next friday! woohoo!! Love ya babes! Thanks for being my sweets since sec 3! HAHA!

2007-03-29T22:16:00.000+08:00

My Madrasah experience

As a Chinese girl who grew up very much in an English speaking environment, I was filled with many doubts and apprehensions on the Islam religion and the Muslim’s way of life. Despite having Malay friends around me, I had very little understanding of the Islamic religion and its practices. I was aware of their need to consume Halal food and fast during the fasting month, but that was that much , or should I say that little I knew. Finally, an opportunity to clear all my doubts and questions came knocking on my door and it was none other than the immersion programme with the Madrasah Wak Tanjong Al-Islamiah (MWTI).

Used to the usual routine of singing the national anthem and pledge taking for morning assembly, it was indeed refreshing to see that the MWTI students started every morning with a morning prayer. Unlike us Tjcians who cannot even stand still when the anthem is sung, the MWTI students immediately fall into straight rows and silence to piously recite the prayer with their head prefect. It was heartwarming to see a whole community even the young ones praying together and submitting themselves to God. As if I was not impressed enough, we were brought to see their prayer session in the hall. Standing and prostrating as one big family, I could see the very eminent faith they possessed, something Christian kids should learn.

One thing that struck me the most during the 2 days was their humility. How they never seemed to complain about anything, how they seemed to be satisfied with whatever they had, even their small canteen that gave them limited choices of food. Tjcians are constantly complaining about the canteen serving lousy food with limited variety, that is where I feel Tjcians should pay MWTI a visit. I thought to myself, these people live in Singapore too, most of whom come to school in big and luxurious cars. They are as modern as us but yet why are they so much less demanding and complex as us students in the mainstream. Perhaps, it was because of their strong faith in their religion that teaches them to accept whatever god has given them and be thankful for it. Also, despite having to do 5 prayers a day, never did I hear a single complaint or sense and reluctance. I feel that the youths in my church have to learn from them as some cannot even commit a single hour weekly to God. Thus, although I am not a Muslim, looking at their way of life has really humbled me and no doubt made me reflect on my role as a whole person and a Christian.

This exchange has no doubt cleared all my doubts on the Islamic religion- why they pray 5 times a day, the rituals and faith that they believe in. Also, although the MWTI students are not from the mainstream education, they are by no means different from us. In fact they are even more admirable for their dedication to their religious studies, juggling it with their academics. It again makes me reflect as a Christian, how I used to dread going for my weekend religious classes.

I’ve made so many new friends despite the short 2 days and the differences we bore. It really saddens me to leave the family of MWTI but I am also extremely grateful and thankful that I took on this opportunity. I feel that in order for Singapore to be more integrated racially and be more understanding towards different races, such programmes should be carried out actively in schools. It enables us to take a further step beyond just accepting to actually understanding and appreciating each other. It has really been an eye opening and humbling experience for me, and at least I can now proudly proclaim that I have worn a Tudong before and that I have attended a Madrasah for 2 days.

Pictures will be uploaded real soon!!
Special thanks to my buddy Faseha and all who made the stay so enjoyable and fulfilling!!

The head prefect is hot! oops!

2007-03-08T18:04:00.000+08:00

AS my usual first liner for my blog entries always go,I'm finally back to blog!! I've just finished doing my literature assignment, so in a rather litty mood, so decided to come do a short entry. Well, its been 4 months or so, and i seriously dont know where to start from. Ok, in Dec, there was my trip to China, and Xmas. They were both fantastic, but of course its been too long ago so dont really want to elaborate much on it. January- BOND 007! The orientation for the year ones! WOOHOO!!! My oh MY! That was really an amazing amazing orientation. O-night, was, in a word, unbelievable. I got body surfed! woohoo! but ok thats not the point. Point is I made soooooooooo many cool and young new friends! Haha! NICHOLAS !! the toothead who cant dance. XinJun who blushed when we called him ShinGoon! WHO REFUSED TO LISTEN TO US WHEN WE GAVE HIM INSTRUCTIONS! Uncle Zhi Peng! Cool Farid! Samantha, ranessa, nicole, eehwee, elizabeth the blue nuns! haha! petrina, Sarah, VANIA THE PREEEETTTYY GIRL...ok and loadsssss more..not forgetting those from other OGs, Johnny, trinity, my ANGEL! 14/07 guys.. hmm...fun bunch man!

ok enough of rattling on..anyhows, been a great 2 months or so. Apart from the studies which have been a little screwed lately. Nevertheless catching up now! Oh yes thanks to everyone who wished me and gave me presents on my bdae..That was soooooo long ago..

on a more serious note, i hope out dear Fangfang stays in TJ. You can do it FANG! if she goes there'd be no one act cute together with me and take soooooo many pictures. No one to call me snorty or huhuhu... and burst out into and uncontrollable laughter !haha!! yes and the qian jin gong zhu..hmpf! hahahah..aye..stupid school..it's funny how you take everyone for granted but only realise u treasure them when they may have to leave! nevertheless I know she can do it! =)

GO FANG!!! BEHIND YOU ALWAYS!!! IF YOU EVER READ THIS!!! heeeeee...

alright..thats enough for now..

2006-11-16T12:52:00.000+08:00

im wondering if im getting old too fast. anyhows, i have been frequenting the airport lately. just sitting at coffee bean and observing pple. i like chilling out at places like that with my friends. i don't exactly like the malls or movies where there are sooooo many teenagers around. im weird, but i seek sophistication. haha! yeah right. but, thing is i enjoy the company of adults more rather then the teens. of course all my friends are exceptions, but ya, wouldnt exactly like to hang out somewhere where there are so many sch kids making so much noise..grr.. anyway, at the airport, i saw many many sophisticated men and women, of which few were Singaporeans. From my observation, i realised that Singaporeans are an incredibly rude bunch and we're far from the sophistication of foreigners. It's sad but ya.

Visiting Vivo city lately, i witnessed a series of kiasu and selfish Singaporeans. They barge their way here and there, talking at the top of their voices, completely ignorant of the fact that they are in PUBLIC. sigh..

I know, im a Singaporean, sure im proud of my country, but im certainly not proud of the typical singaporeans who give no cahoots bout simple manners and courtesy. It's a shame we're such a developed country with such a good education, but with such ill mannerisms.

of cos i should give credit to Singaporeans for being rather honest yes, most have good morals as compared to pple from other countries, explains our low crime rate.
Singapore is a safe city.

enough said, i cant wait to go on my holiday. haha.. i realised that i need to be in new environments now and then. it'd be nice if i could go away and stay in some other country for a long time and then come back again. perhaps it might make me appreciate what we have here.

hmm.. as for my personal life, i guess right now, i would rather devote more time to my own life. im gonna study hard, make sure i get the career i want, and than lead the life i wanna lead. so yes.. study study study.hahah.. bout other stuff, im being completely ignorant. guys, ill just take them as they come. wouldnt make it such a big issue in my life. =) heee

2006-11-12T11:44:00.000+08:00

Life is good. hee..promos are over, pw is over! and to think i did considerably well for promos..hahaha..anyway i love cg06/06!!had our class chalet at changi. calvin tan was there too and my gosh! kid kid kid! changi's really a super scary place. the rest went to old changi hosp, but me, fang and sarah refused to go in! thank god we didnt, considering what happened in there.. grr..

anyhow, the chalet, was really really a different experience from the ones ive gone to in the highly utilised downtown east or whatever. its soooooo much nicer at changi. our chalet was double story and HUMONGOUS! could easily fit 50 ppl! hee..

hmm, the guys, have scrawny bodies. wasnt a nice sight to see them topless.. lol..they're still as childish as ever, but at least they admitted that they were as scared as the girls were..good job guys, first step to being a real man. lol.. nevertheless some were really caring..=) leslie oughts to get some special mention here.. a few of us left on the second day though..left with kenny, and it was so weird how we had a sudden impulse to get down the bus to visit the changi chapel and musuem.. so it was just me and him, in the musuem..WEIRD!! haha..it was pretty interesting.. as in the place..should go there again sometime..lol..changi is scary but really cool.hee..

after hearing all the stories bout changi, i was so freaked out when i came home, that even my shadow scared me..

oh yes, how can i forget, the ride in calvin tans car.. cant believe hes our pw teacher..hes such a kid, haha..anyhow he brought me, fang, sarah to changi village to check out the transverstites..gosh..all i can say is technology really is something..lol..a bunch were staring at calvin in the car when he drove past..hee..funny..

on the second night, noelee came to fetch me from home and we went back to the chalet for awhile..the guys, kept asking me where billy was, and when they saw noel, they were like wah why u got so many boyfriends..ewww...CRAZY! haha..daffy doo wass there too!! =)hee...anyway, ive got a holiday timetable up that covers all my studying and holidaying..so yes! im on schedule..heee. wheee!! cant wait to go to shanghai!! lalal!!!but in the meantime have to go back to school for house committee stuff (beta rocks) and orientation stuff... fun but sian!! huiping!! i want her to be with an ogl!! i cant work without my other cheer captain!! hahaha

alrighty im off to do some work..hee.. i enjoy studying..im such a mugger these days.. hahaha..u cant help it when you're in TJC! hahaa..i love my school!! PASSION PURPOSE DRIVE!!!! wheeeeeeeeee!!!

2006-10-24T11:30:00.000+08:00

WHEE!! I STILL LOVE MY CLASS NONETHELESS!! hee!! 7 to 9 Nov is our class chalet, wonder whether we'd have any ghostly encounters.Haha!

me and qisi were talking with the guys that day, no wait, we were bitching bout pple in our class, evil but well, kinda found out some stuff bout WengSeng, gosh im appalled! Never thought he was that bad. Shant say anything, but seriously, the day he gets caught, will be the end of his future. Sigh.

CANT BELIEVE IT!

ah!! shall go do my Insights and Reflections or Calvin will come haunting me for it! ahha!!

2006-10-08T10:47:00.000+08:00

Okay, so this stagnant blog has finally regained little, but some life. Grr! Anyway, im down with all papers except my Lit paper, which in my opinion is rather enjoyable and isnt a chore to study like PHYSICS! so yups, technically, im kinda over with promos, considering how much ive been going out. Well, promos were quite sweet, not that id do exceptionally well, but i expected worse. haha. Econs case study though was a major disappointment, it was like, what in the world am i supposed to write. And one thing bout econs, if that happens to you, you know, youre screwed. But wells, we shall see. Hope i nailed my essays. Hee. Thanks jon for telling me how interest rates affected the xchange rate too, cos it did come out! Question was,can interest rates alone help in controlling inflation? obviously not. ok enough of Econs. Should be talking love, social propriety and marriage instead (We're doing Pride and Prejudice for Lit) heh.

Anyway, things have been really sweet. Really Really, its just different from the other sweet feelings. I don't know why, perhaps cos this is more suttle, and you slowly realise it creeping in, and it just gets u when you're unaware. I like the way things are such that when u constantly think of that person, you wouldnt hear from him/ her, but when your mind is suddenly off it, u get like a msg or sth and it totally makes your day. You'd just stare at it and grin like a lil girl eating a lolli. =) oh wells, i forsee all this sweetness disappearing as soon as they appeared, Sigh. It's ok.

Been studying with Billy lately, heh, quite a cute guy. LOL!cos he asks the weirdest questions ever! omg. but its ok, curiosity eh, No life. Well, its really enjoyable when he's around.

Had a dream bout lin jun jie last night, perhaps its a calling to go back to hai die soon and visit him when he's back in Singapore! haha..sigh! how i miss the hai die days!! VS4!! huan liang lao shi!! zhang fan lao shi! ok shut up brendy.

Hmm, i shall go study pride and prejudice now!! Dunno it i should follow my parents to my uncle's for tea, or go out to study with sisi, perhaps study. yups. im off! =)

trust

2006-08-19T10:41:00.001+08:00

whee. im finally back here blogging! its been ages man. eons! so many stuff have happened. hee. anyway its 10.38 now and my morning started off pretty badly. they always say relationships are based on trust blah blah, i feel thats utter bullshit. bran, im in your shoes now, i know how u felt last time. when you've seen and experienced certain stuff, no matter how hard u try, its just impossible to trust someone. so many times in relationships, trusts are betrayed, in a way or another. worst still, the other party does not even realise his/her trust has been betrayed. yikes. ya so anyway my point is i just cant trust some pple, trust dun come easily with me, unless i knoow you matured, sensible and clear headed enough den willi fully trust you. like huang, i trust her entirely cos i noe she'll never do anything to hurt me. hee oh darling huang. but some pple are still rather blur headed and ya. quiet as they may seem at times around pple, u never noe wads goin on in their minds, cos its these quiet pple that tend to betray peoples trust. stereotyping, but its true! anyway, bottom line. i just cant trust! i mean esp if someone was known as a flirt before and like still had his/her flirty ways present in the general behaviour, all the more you just CANT TRUST. ok enough of this

NEXT

hmmm.. that scene keeps replaying in my mind. it was sweet, but hot, literally. lol ok that sounded so wrong but lol. ya, it was nice.

I LOVE TAU HUAY! seriously its like a drug, tau huay makes me happy. thanks for the tau huay that mysteriously appeared outside my sch gate. hee!! somehow or rather Qisi was particularly tickeled by the fact that someone left me tauhuay outside the sch gate. well, its just called sweet Qisi. lol. yeah. its like in those shows where pple leave flowers outside the gates except this is tau huay!! lol!! thanks tau huay man!! you noe who u are. =)

and the mystery of my stolen picture from the House Comm board! who stole my picture!! give it back!! hee..well its funny. but nvm..

anyway, i shant blabber on, have an econs seminar to attend soon. 2 to 530. man!
hahah but i love econs, how not to when u get 90th percentile! lol! well i studied really hard for it man! at the expense of physics, which i got a U for! oh man! lol! im just not a science person! hee.. okok i shall go now..=)

trust

2006-08-19T10:41:00.000+08:00

2006-06-24T13:50:00.000+08:00

WOW, it really has been a long while since I blogged my last entry. Despite life being pretty good in many desirable ways, I somehow feel that it is all too meaningless. I lead a life of normality and monotony or so it seems. Life's pretty much filled with school, studies, Jon. Not complaining about the Jon part, but i feel i seriously have not done any meaningful thing this whole 3 months. I wanna go away, perhaps not forever, but temporarily, do something different....

2006-04-05T10:27:00.000+08:00

It's been a really long time since i've been here. nevertheless, here i am! whee im totally loving my life in TJC! and right now im at the hub, cos im only due for lesson at 11. every wed im free till 11 and i only have one lesson. gosh wad a waste of time. lol. lifes been good despite jon not being around. i miss him so badly. hes in san francisco now. hee. my class, doesnt seem as bad as i thot they were. there sure are the nerdy ones but there are the fun ones too, like boon yee, xue fang, qisi, samuel, wengseng, guang guang, arthi, kenny, leslie.. heee.. these pple make life in Tj fun. and of cos the one that never fails to make us laugh hee..our extremly er, unique CG rep yi wei. and the gay harry. and the quiet agnes. the nice florencia and purva oh and sarah and the erm anti social meagan.gosh..

heres a qn though. why cant a girl and guy be close as good frens.. rite rite qisi? lol. u see, ive been slightly closer to a certain someone in my class, and some pple are like saying we are too close for comfort blah blah..hmmm.. anyway ive sorta kept my dist abit, and sad to say life is incredibly boring.. hee

went jamming with jons band last night without jon. how funny. will be playing the keyboard for them for mardi gras. heard its the opening band. oh wadeva. lol. anyway, was kinda depressed yest cos i felt the keyboard parts were freakin disgusting. lol. wei xiang was really helpful. dun noe what id do if he hadnt helped me. lol. nice guy he is. francis the drummer, i think hes good man. despite how some feel? hmmm.. lol..anyways..to all reading!! do come down to TJc on 13 april k? starts at 7, its like an arts festival. sth like vjs music fest but tons better of cos. =) there'd be rock bands, still artist, dance, blah blah. heh..fun huh.

gonna be a really hectic and rushed day cos theres lenten vigil in church to sing for..s o gonna have to rush down. anyway..lifes been good, just that... JON FASTER COME BACK! lol..at least with his presence, i wouldnt be..ok nth..lol...see ya!

2006-03-11T09:34:00.000+08:00

THANKS OG5 for getting me all the cuties. LOL! ok ill update bout orientation soon. too tired to do so now. oh yeah. last nite i kinda had erm..a shock. it was kinda scary how jon was performing. felt like my heart was gonna drop out anytime. oh wells. NO CHOICE! lol. ok soon ill be back. bye

2006-02-27T16:10:00.000+08:00

... off to bed at night. i can't sleep, neither can he. comes over to check if im awake. i am. we take a stroll on the deck, staying till the sun rises and rushing back just before everyone wakes...

-pouts- its so unfair. hmpf. heh. gosh i sound like some spoilt kid. hmm..lately i've been thinking of sth entirely impossible. nevertheless it's kinda nice to daydream about it and well, sadly speaking fantasize. AH!

life has been monotonous as usual. stuff with jon, i guess i could say we are good. yups. sweet one he is. =)

I WANNA GO! for.. but somehow i know it'll never happen. NEVER IN MY LIFE. God has been too nice to me already. I dun deserve anymore. Selfish me. hmpf. Haha.

anyway, watched Emily Rose. It isn't really scary. There is a slight fear i have at night, but ironically the fear is not of being possessed or anything. the fear is of whether that ring of god's protection can overpower other external forces.

well i had always imagined gods protection as this big circle around me, and that nothing would be able to enter to harm me. but the show has kinda made me query if gods powers can ever be overpowered. well it sure did seem that way in the show, cos im sure Father Richard moore had a very big circle of protection, and yet he was vulnerable to the demons' attacks. contradicting. oh wells whatever. stupid show. my faith is still kept strong.haha. but i think it was quite cool. hee. to think it's based on a true life story. looking forward to the Da Vinci Code. made into a movie. hee. Dan Brown. i love his books.

yesterday, i finally saw the importance of a choir with cheerful faces. mass felt so dead when the hossana and all the mass proper songs were sung. reason, the sunday choir was expressionless and kinda dead. only yest did i see how important the choir was to inspire the congregation.now i see why mel has been so persistant on us memorising the lyrics and looking at the congregation, and not forgetting a smile on our faces. it really works. did not go for choir last week, due to several reasons. then again im thinking, who gives a shit bout all that. y should i not go cos of some people.(well just 4 pple) weirdly darren thinks i have a problem with noel and greg or sth. no no no. its nth to do with them at all. anyway. im gonna continue playing for mass and contribute, for god, and not for anyone else. with that said, i must get all the songs for lenten vigil and learn all of them properly. have not been attending pracs. AHHH!

2006-02-23T23:10:00.000+08:00

The Great Irony. It's utterly abonimable. Perhaps I'm just too repugnant.No I'm not. I guess it ain't really my fault. Sometimes I feel like my life gets screwed up unneccessarily. By total outsiders, people I'm not in any way related too. I would rather much dictate my own life then let someone else do it for me. Yes, and to YOU: lead your life the way you want it to be. I'm just so aghast by it. Just not to my liking. Don't exactly like people interferring my life and discommode me. My parents know me, therefore they try their best not to step in, and I'm thankful for it.

My mom, despite being annoying at times, really strikes me somehow. How she really leaves me to make my own options. How she thinks that I should make a choice based on what I'm happy with and not what has a good outcome. It in a way gives me more freedom to make my own decisions and lead my life the way I want it to be. Sure, she may be a typical mom at times, nagging, being very abhorent, but I'm still thankful for it. I feel that sometimes she trusts me more with my own decisions, I mean BIG decisions, rather then anyone else. Hee.

I guess God works wonders. I can testify that HE really works in wondrous ways. Every single thing that falls upon you beholds a message from HIM. God, I got the message this time. THANKS MY FATHER! =)

2006-02-22T13:23:00.000+08:00

Am i making the right choice really? Am i making the right choice to stay here, to do something i don't wanna do just to please people. YET AGAIN. i realised that these 17 yrs of my life have just been living up to other people's expectations. Im expected to this and that this and that this and that. ITS SICK. sometimes i wonder if it'd all be better if i went away. now im starting to regret staying in singapore. sigh. i hate this place totally. education system here. the people. the place. DISGUSTING. and now, even the place or rather the people. the group that used to make things all better just make it worse for me now. i no longer enjoy the times im there with them just like how i used to look forward to it. it was something i so looked forward to at the end of each week. now its like, should i go? will it be nice? or will it suck like last week. everything's so different, the people, the atmosphere. i have no idea why. perhaps its just cos of certain people. sigh. anyway, god, i'll leave everything up to you. after all i know everything happens for a purpose. and i realised i have absolutel nth to look forward to. sch reopening? absolutely not. im starting to get scared of TJ. after looking at how my frens are coping in there. seems quite bad. sigh. anyway..i might not even get posted there??? maybe the principal wouldnt like my name or sth. HEE. aye aye aye.

there's this place i've taken an exceptional liking for. and that's the esplanade library. it's just soooooo different from the rest of singapore. everything and maybe most people there are kinda more sophisticated. more class and. it's just such a great environment to be alone, to study or whatsoever. unlike other libraries, it doesnt have noisy irritating kids runnig around playing catching or whatever. COS THERE AINT A KIDS SECTION! i think. heh. so yes. im in love with esplanade, and its library. its, unlike typical singapore. =)

2006-02-18T12:04:00.000+08:00

(on the left) me and froggie prince (below) EMBARRASSED huang and her exploded ice cream =p

Ok now that the big hoo haa about O's are over and everythings settled down, it's time I wrote my long long long overdue entry. Hee. As it turns out, I didn't screw up my O's as I had predicted. Predictions, i realised aren't normally true. Anyway, I'm just soooooooo glad I'd be joining my darlings in TJC!! ESP one particular one, and that's none other than HUANGYY DARLINGG!!! Oh man how i missed her, and when we finally met up on the day the results were out, I had hell lots of fun with her. It's only with her that I can actually laugh till i cry, and i mean literally. Tears dripped down and my nose watered, all from laughing, and at what? at her silliness of cos. well this is what happened on the deadly afternoon of FEB 10.

we met earlier to catch up before we got our results, as I the pesimisstic one was whining and saying that i'd be killing myself soon after, so we had to see each other first. LOL. yes anyway we met, and she gave me my xmas pressie. This really really really cute froggie prince. hee. ( i heard its magical, i've yet to kiss it, but when i do, tada! a handsome prince would appear.) however i already have a handsome prince and i dun need another one just yet, so im saving it. rite huang? lol
and then, we decided to have ice cream at swensens. i ordered fries, and huang a crunchie cone. the waitress that served us told huang to be careful cos the cone was hard, so ya being HUANG, she must have been like, oh what can happen, its only a cone. but oh boy was she SOOOO wrong, when she bit into it. BOOM! BAM!! and explosion occurred!!! the cone had exploded! RIGHT IN OUR FACES! hahha. im not exaggerating, ok maybe just a lil. but yes the cone broke and bits and pieces flew everywhere, and to make things worse, the waitress came by and she was like, I warned you. LOL! and yes we burst into hysterical laughter, unable to control ourselves as usual. and tears started flowing down our cheeks. hee. and i started some crap by saying, OH HUANG! I TOLD YOU NOT TO HAVE A CRUSH ON ME! SEE LAH SO NERVOUS INFRONT OF ME UNTIL CONE ALL BREAK! HAHAHAH! yes, that was how lame it got. but it sure did calm our nerves a lil. hee.
and so we went to school. GRRR WHAT A NIGHTMARE. it's the worst worst feeling u can ever get. people were crying even before the results were out. lol. and the talk by ms liu, it seemed eternity, and guess what, i dun remember a word she said. haha. but anyway its all over! im just so glad i can be with all my darlings, huang, zhe ya, bixia, cheryl, dine, maryam... haha. whee!! like i told huang, we're gonna grab all the attention in TJ eh! ahhahahahah! just kidding.

hmmm. i went to sentosa that day. oh man! the LUGE RIDE IS SO FUN!i'm so goin again sometime soon. hee. anyway, i'll update sometime soon again! AU REVOIR!!!

2006-02-11T11:44:00.000+08:00

CAN THE WHOLE WORLD STOP ASKING ME WHAT I GOT FOR O'S!!
all im saying is i did ok..will be goin to TJC cos I JUST WANNA GO THERE. hais.
so tired of all this. why does everyone make such a big hooha out of everything. its only o levels!

ok sorry just so irritated. nevertheless glad id be joining my darling girls and jon in TJ. dad wants me to go to VJ but like i said its as good as asking me to kill myself. heh. yeah dat bad.

lol. so anyways. god really helped me for the fact i screwed up my prelims and slacked throughout the whole yr and only really studied one month before o's and can still get this kinda results. really i realised ive been really much of a slacker as my frens would noe. haha. sigh. god really works wonders but still, he only helps those who helps themselves. but sigh..like 4 yrs of green is not enough.. another 2 yrs of green will drive me nuts! hais..ok..nvm..enough of this..

2006-02-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was certainly a day to be remembered.It started off with a msg from my darling in the morning telling me to wake up. Slept so late the night before so i couldn't really open my eyes the next morning, but the thought of going to church with my boy made me spring out of bed. Met him in church and attended mass, we were just slightly late. Hee. Mass was enjoyable.Fr Tou's last mass in holy family. Kinda sad, gonna miss his unclear speaking. Hee.I think homily was sth bout having faith in the lord? I think. Hee! Was really sleepy. After which we walked to my house, indecisive me didn't want to go to parkway, but when the bus came, i just somehow pulled Jon up.Heh. Walked around in pp for awhile, bot some cute stuff, then Jon walked me home. I was sooooooo tired but somehow the long long walk home seemed so short. I wonder why. Haha. Under normal circumstances if I had been that tired and all alone, i would have taken a cab back from parkway, yes parkway. As you know my house is really near to pp ,itd be a total waste of money. heh. Slept until Jon called me at 4 plus, had a tiny headache. Jon's dad came to pick me up and I went to their house for dinner. His mom cooked up a sumptuous meal. Went up to watch Tv after dinner. Jon's dad then came up and asked us to go down for 'dessert'. haha. I found it rather weird cos we already had dessert. the lights were switched off and suddenly jon's mom walked out of the kitchen holding a cake with lit candles and they all started singing me a birthday song, and then my boy came down with his guitar and attempted to strum but, wells good effort sweetheart. HAHAHA! i was so so so so touched by them. His mom remembered my birthday when i didnt even rmb telling her. really felt so good and thankful. hee. although its a days away from my actual birthday, i already know that this is gonna be a VERY unforgettable bdae. hee.

Night before last was not bad too. Supposed to follow Edmond, Greg and Grismond to Malaysia for seafood. However cos of all those reports in the newspaper, dad said it was too dangerous, but wells I'd be having 3 bodyguards with me. Haha! Sigh. Anyhows they came over for supper. Haha. Thanks for the food guys. Heh. Slept bout 4.

I dunno why but i seem to like being in crowds more. I open up more and find it more fun. Maybe i just love my frens. Heee. But being alone is good too, but I can't stand too much of it. Hee. I needa be happening. Maybe that's why I get so tired. Haha. Results will be out on friday. After my birthday. Thank God. Peaceful birthday at least. Heh.

2006-02-03T12:15:00.000+08:00

Sometimes i wonder why i even get myself involved in such stuff when i know nothing good will come out of it. I mean what possible good could happen, i should have known. Utterly disappointed with myself, and I'm sorry to you whom I may have hurt. Didn't mean to. But sometimes certain things just cause you to act to irrationaly. Heh. What was i thinking really. All i can say is I'm sorry. Hope friendship stays and shan't have anything to do with 'the fren'. Nothing ever happened. Sigh

2006-02-02T01:14:00.000+08:00

this entry is to my sugar pie honey bunch swee huang! haha..huang i've yet to write an entry on you. you better write one on me too k. haha

huang is my bestest buddy in my 17 years of life. she has made me realise that good frenships are not established neccessarily with time but rahter how fate brings you together. i've known her for only 2 years or so but she's even more dear and close to me den any other person i've known for 5, 6 years or even 10 years for that matter. it's amazing how everything just fell into place, how we sat together for sooooooooo long, how we wore braces together and how i enjoyed suaning her when i was braceless before her. how we were so excited when we were both braceless, how she'd tolerate all my nonsense, my singing, my crapping. how we were so alike in so many ways, how our bros happen to know each other, how we both happen to have boyfrens, how we both happen to be at the same stage ( erm actually i think huangs gone ahead of me, rite huang? HAHAHA)sorry inside joke. bearing with my bad temperments, my bluntness, she's always been ther listening to my problems and giving my constructive advice. she's someone i can trust and suprisingly i understand her pretty well, at least better den most eh huang? haha.. she's seen me through the most tough time of a teenagers life, all the relationships and of cos the dreadful o's. those sleepover nights we had, how three people ended up on a single bed, how we talked late into the night would be etched in my memory forever and i hope that there'd be more of that to come. here's to our everlasting frenship sugar pie honey bunch! you noe i love you! you're my number one darling! AHHAHAHAHA! ok that sounded les. dun cry k! see ya soon!

2006-02-01T10:55:00.000+08:00

It's a wonder how something as small and unimportant like the o levels results can get me so stressed out like that. ok who am i kidding, it is not small neither is it unimportant. and maybe that's why im so tremendously worried and yes not to mention panicky. ever since sec three, it has been a pain to look at any academic results i'd get back. somehow they just weren't up to anybody's standards. it's always been that bummed feeling and i'm just wondering if it be that same old familiar feeling with the o's. touch wood. i hope not and im praying i'd get to feel that different feeling for once in my two years of upper sec life. you see i made a horrible choice by taking 3 pure sciences and then struggling with all. im just not a science person as any of you who knows me would know. therefore it results in me getting a grade that leaves me wondering if i should just quit school altogether. haha. ok im kidding but ya results have been really depressing so far and unfortunately in singapore, all people even care about is the results. RESULTS! occasionally you get some bullshit from whoever that results are not everything and its the character blah blah, but at the end of the day does your character get you in to a good college? no its the RESULTS that matter. anyway the next time i blog, it'd either be i screwed up o's or i did ok. not gonna think bout doin exceptionally well. sigh..it's not that i have no faith in myself, it's just that i've had too many setbacks academically wise. hee..

anyway trip to thailand was quite good.it almost felt like the old old brenda when i kinda had a tiny crush on this thai guy at the hotel. oh man he's reallly handsome and charming, not to mention speaks good english and so gentlemanly. bout early 20s i guess. haha. it's been a long time since i felt that way with everything happening in singapore. i just cant afford to have any crushes you see. actually well, not crushes but admiration rather.haha.and in singapore, i had another admiration for edmond's fren! haha. ok im not really being serious here, but well that guy sure has charisma, at least to me. we were paying blackjack and the banker had 27, he had 25 or sth, he was like, oh so i still win rite? hahahhaa!! how cute is that. ok i should stop it. again im not being serious. haha. but i sure do miss those days where all i had were crushes and no major major commitments or whatsoever. heh.
ok i shan't go there or huang and angie's prob gonna be shaking their head. sigh.haha.

i still cant believe the results might be on my birthday. 7 FEB!! people 7 FEB!! hahah. sigh..saddening. i really dun like it here one bit. really hope i'd be able to fly away to study. oh man. someone bring me away!

2006-01-23T13:44:00.000+08:00

Sigh. Life is a blur now. Really sick and tired of everything's that been happening around me. How people always expect from me. These few days, I've been spending more time on my own. I feel it's time i payed more attention to myself rather than to the people around me. I am no longer going to bother about always making people feel good or happy when I do not even feel good myself. I'm sick of always having people around me. I have not much time left to enjoy before the sickening results are out and disgusting singapore education starts again. Now I'm wondering if not going to Aussie to study is a good choice. I hate this place. This small little boring island. Where everyone only cares about themselves. Singapore is good on its own but the people living in it are a shame. Somehow, visiting other countries makes you realise how shallow and selfish the people are here. Sigh. Ok enough of that.

So yes as I was saying, it's time i payed attention to myself. Do what I want and not what people want me to do. I have a life, my life. I'm sorry to those I've hurt due to this realisation, but yes, where we're living, you just got to think of yourself and nothing else.

Choir was good on saturday. Almost felt like the good ole choir days, but somehow something was lacking. Everything's just not as fun anymore. Not sure why. Probably because there are too much politics in the choir. Can't everyone just not make such a big deal out of small matters? Some people just get on my nerves. Not mentioning who, but at the end of the day, I still love G2 and especially the ones that make it so nice.Daffy, Darren, Greg, Marilyn, Sand, Ems, Prissy, Dione, Duane, Noeleeee, Kenneth, Winnie, Elden, Stacy, Sam, Darryl, Mic, Ants.These people. Thanks so much.You guys make G2 fun. Hee.

Yeah I hope certain things get better, cause I'm quite sick and tired of them.
AND WHY MUST THE O'S RESULTS BE ONE DAY BEFORE MY BDAE! IM GONNA HAVE A DEPRESSED 17th BIRTHDAY. THANKS MINISTRY OF EDUCATION SINGAPORE FOR THE LOVELY PRESENT. URGHS!

2006-01-17T00:13:00.000+08:00

tonight was wonderfully wonderful. edmond and greg picked me up from jon's place den headed to ocean park for a game of tennis. thanks jo..=) ok i didnt play much. hit two BRAND NEW BALLS OUT!GRRR! sorry edmond..haha..after that we went to lagoon for dinner..I HATE EDMOND! i was supposed to buy him dinner! he refused! supposed to buy him a drink and ended up, he buying me one..i swear it tasted like it had some soursop juice in it..heee..it was sugarcane juice btw..I HATE HIM!!!heee..YOU'RE TOOOO NICE TO MEEEEE!! after dinner we took a walk down the beach..greg and sam were having fun shouting.ahha..sat on the sand for awhile listening to the splashing of the waves(it was therapeutic)and attempting to count the number of aeroplanes in the sky..it was a lovely lovely sight..i wanna go to the beach at night more often..its beautiful..sigh..im starting to like the beach alot..i feel unbelievably free there...although i dun really like the sea..yeah..talked awhile den we left..

AND...on the journey home..our dear dear edmond tried scaring me with the disgustingly hideous meal worms dat were food to his disgustingly hideous fish back home..being my violent self..i started hitting and pinching him whilst screaming at the top of my lungs..sorry greg and sam if you guys turn deaf..haha..yeah..and guess wad the worm dropped onto the floor in the car and its nowhere to be found..brilliant edmond..spent bout 15 mins at my house looking for the groosss worm..ewwww..i hate insects..like totally totally hate em..heh

wells..i think we should have this kinda night more often..was really fun..hee.thanks guys!! i feeel sooooooo happy now..heee..
just hope bubbs is as happy.. =)

2006-01-13T10:58:00.000+08:00

that's just a few pics..rough idea of japan..such a pity couldnt take pics of the hotspring..heeee..*grin..yeah japan was fantastic...i miss it..sooo much..come to me if u wanna see more pics..heee..

2006-01-13T10:52:00.000+08:00

me at universal studios japan!!brr it was freeezing cold!!!

2006-01-13T10:51:00.000+08:00

bullet train station!! woah its fast..

2006-01-13T10:48:00.000+08:00

that me bro!! aint the tree soooooooooo nicee?? hahahah

2006-01-13T10:46:00.000+08:00

a disney show at cinderella's castle

2006-01-13T10:45:00.000+08:00

tokyo disneyland for you!!!!

2006-01-13T10:41:00.001+08:00

its a small world! my dad's fav ride!! HAHAHAH

2006-01-13T10:41:00.000+08:00

toontown..hee

2006-01-13T10:37:00.001+08:00

cinderella's castle!!

2006-01-13T10:37:00.000+08:00

TOKYO DISNEYLAND!! ok not a very nice shot..DADDY!! doesnt noe how to take nice shots..

2006-01-13T10:36:00.001+08:00

view of mt fuji from the window..beautiful aint it

2006-01-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

one night, tatami style..=)

2006-01-13T10:34:00.000+08:00

MOUNT FUJI!!! WHEE

2006-01-13T10:32:00.001+08:00

kimono fashion show

2006-01-13T10:32:00.000+08:00

bro me mom..snowing..brrr

2006-01-13T10:28:00.000+08:00

hmm..think this was a temple..beautiful isnt it

2006-01-13T10:27:00.000+08:00

cute lil finian! hee

2006-01-13T10:23:00.000+08:00

me bro mom at universal studios japan!

2006-01-13T10:20:00.000+08:00

bro and i at the erm..wad do u call dat bridge? rainbow bridge? cant rmb..lol

2006-01-13T10:18:00.000+08:00

me in japan outside some temple..love japan!!

im backkk

2006-01-10T13:58:00.000+08:00

hey guys! im back again! yes finally..hmmm..actually its bcos im at jon's house and he's studying and ive got nth to do so wells..here i am..haha..anyway thanks to those that frequently visit my blog to see if ive updated.. hee..been really busy..grans demise, xmas, new yr and all..heh..well jon's asking if he's inside my entry so ya i guess ive gotta talk bout him..hmm..he's been such a darling really..although there were many tough times.. we still made it thru..haha..im sorry to those that like him.. he's mine..hahaha.. ok enough of that..
people's been asking me what jc im in..well i didnt apply for any jc..initially i was regretting..but i've thought bout it..its a blessing in disguise..i realised i finally have time for myself..to do the things ive always wanted to do..after likke 10 yrs of education..after how all my time was spent on sch, softball and studying..i can finally put thema ll aside temporarily and fully see the meaning of life..and really i have to thank god..he's really been helping me so much i cant be more grateful..heh..

wells i hope all my buddies in tj are having fun..haha..i love you guys..huang, shi yu, valo, thanks ya..and of cos f3 who are in vj now..angie, clara, sj..love u guys too..haha..have fun ya..get the guys..*wink..angie i support u always!! will always be here if u need advice..hahaha..im the love consultant remember..heh..

oh yes my japan trip..it was fantabulous..one of my greatest trips ever..I MISS THAT PLACE TO NUTs..ok lets first talk bout the weather..it snowed! so ya..explains the weather huh..the snow admist the autumn leaves was just..whew..amazing..will be posting pics soon..yah..and ok the food..it was fantastic..really..love jap food..the people..how i wish the whole world were like the the japs..sooo well mannered and so honest its just unbelievable to find every single person there like that..makes me feel ashamed to be who i am..haha..i mean really..haha..i can go on and on bout the place but i guess yeah..u get the drift its a wonderfully beautiful place..mt fuji was what i really call a panaromic sight..haha..really.. and tokyo disneyland..i rmb watching extreme japan when pat mok cried during the parade..i was wondering why she cried and i finally know why..its really one of the most touching experiences.its hard to explain but ya my tears almost flowed down my cheeks. took some rides..haha..was incredibly fun..oh yes and the hot spring..ok the hot bod jap lifeguards aside, the hot spring was cool..really..walked into the naked pool by mistake and lotsa naked pple about..how cool was that..haha.but ya..its an experience really. to be so open and carefree..haa..relaxing! heh..shopping wise..things were rather ex but the quality and packaging of almost everything was so intricate and meticulous..im goin back there for my honeymoon eh jon..haha..

xmas was well good but somehow felt this yrs party was rather dry..but nevertheless it was an experience as it was my first xmas with my darling and it was aweeesoommmeee..hahha..

new yrs eve party at edmonds was GRREAAT...haha..bbq..den swimming..it was a WOW! den our crapping session in edmonds room..just the four of us while the rest were downstairs..it was great..and the drinking..hahaahah..we were high..heee..thanks so much edmond aka ahmad..for everything really..for opening your house..for alwyas so readily being my driver..haha..for that $150 lunch at lawry's..thanks..really sad youd be leaving for the states soon..its great to have such a dear fren..yups..haha..=)but some pple got drunk and puked.duno why on earthe they drank so much when they couldnt drink and that caused like some of us to get into trouble..pissing..but its alright..haha..its over..

ok this part is really important..this is to you sweetheart:
thanks for being soooooooooooo patient with me..although its been only 4 months..we've been such great frens for quite long and its paying off boy..you know what i mean..yeah..so yups..although there were times when things got really bad we pulled thru..and yes..thanks sooooooooooo much..i love you..

on the issue of frens..thanks huang for being there..and esp angie too..thanks girl..and of cos jon's and my dearest fren that will certainly be jon's bestman..GREGORY YEO!!! we love u gweg..GWWEEEGGG..hahahha..thanks so much...really dear fren..we love you..im sure youd get her soon ya..hehehehhe...go gweg! oh this is a reallly long entry..jons saying its damn long already..so i guess i should stop here..will post pics soon..see ya guys!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!! muacks!!!

2005-12-08T11:07:00.000+08:00

denise and i

2005-11-27T12:24:00.000+08:00

the whole group of us!

2005-11-27T12:23:00.000+08:00

me ang huang yet again!

2005-11-27T12:22:00.000+08:00

me and huangyyy on prom night

2005-11-21T22:11:00.000+08:00

FINALLY! the exams are over! whee! haha..now that i've more or less calmed down after the big hoo ha over the o's being over..its time i updated this blog.haha..its funny how i found so many things to do while i was studying for my o's...writing the xmas shopping list..studying jap..and everything..and when i finally have the time to do those..i suddenly dont have the mood to.hahah..when i actually have sooooo many things to be done..heh..maybe i just havent had enough time to rest..its ironic how im getting less slp now den while i was studying..haha..im more tired than ever..after the prom on fri im gonna take one week to slack at home and rejuvenate before i can actually start on anything..

for that i should write a list of stuff that has to be done:
- decide whether or not to go for the audition and if yes, print photos.
- go back for singing classes
- decide whether i wanna take my grade 8 piano
- get x mas presents before i leave for japan
- get prom dress and highhh heels..
-finish writing the letters to all my classmates
-shop for new clothes
-learn some jap
-oh crap i forgot.. compose next weeks psalm for mass
- practise lamb of god
-pack my room again!
i think theres more but cant remember..but anyway..thats enough to keep me busy but i dun seem to have the mood to do anything..sigh..

went to k box with jon today.heh..had fun singing.. hee..oh last fri went to breeks for dinner den huang and bixia came over..yah..couldnt sleep cos the two of them were sleeping on my bed as well..heh..next morning went shopping with huang but we were soooo tired..we only shopped for awhile den went home..only got to sleep for 15 mins den had to go for choir prac..night b4 only had one hour's worth of sleep..heh..was practically dying..practice was enjoyable though..love G2 to nuts..yups..was awfully weird when four pple were piled up at the back of darrens car after prac thou.. and..ok nvm..ahha..
caught just like heaven with jon yest..beautiful show..very very nice..hehe..4 stars..got really sweet flowers from him...sooo pretty..thanks darling..heee..i want that $299 diamond ring..rmb k? lol!! plus the diamond necklace..heee..
ok pple say im very random..i think i really am..haha..oh wells..

anyways i think i should take some rest b4 i die of exhaustion..its a wonder..no studying and yet im so tired..haha..ironic! contradictory!! bleahs! alright..i should go..

oh wait..thanks to the 6 sweeties for making fri so fun..and thanks jon for always being there for me and lighting up my life..you're a gift from heaven i swear..haha..

2005-10-28T22:16:00.000+08:00

hee,despite being very stressed studying for my o's..im still the happiest girl on earth..cos i've got the best boy on earth..heh..just the sight of u, the sound of your name, the thought of u will put a big big big smile on my face..

really sometimes i think i dun exactly deserve all these, but i'd like to thank god nonetheless..for always helping me..

that day, i was stranded at the petrol station. it was pouring and only a fool would walk in the rain at the risk of being struck by lightning. also i din have my phone with me cos we had our physics prac and couldnt bring our hps..i was cold and all alone..aww..so anyhows.. i was waiting and suddenly father valerian appeared! i mean obviously he din recognise me but i just called him without hesitation and he offered to send me home..seriously i never had dat thought..din even noe he drove..so yah he fetched me home...dad said he was god sent..

thats why..god works thru pple..at a time when you feel like you're all alone and helpless..someone comes along and makes everything good again..it's god's work i believe. =) and god thank you for that.

also..i love you bubbs. a lot..we'll have a football team together k..hahahahahha

2005-10-25T18:25:00.000+08:00

huang and i..WHAT A POSE! hahahahah

2005-10-23T17:40:00.000+08:00

this is called the art of acting cute..heeeeee..yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-10-23T14:50:00.000+08:00

darrens bdae! hee

2005-10-17T18:14:00.000+08:00

You Are A: Puppy!

Beloved by all, puppies are energetic, playful, and loving. Your outgoing and friendly nature is part of what makes you a puppy. Known for their loyalty, puppies make great pets for young and old alike. And an innocent puppy face can melt anyone's heart!

You were almost a: Parakeet or a Kitten
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a Frog What Cute Animal Are You?

2005-10-02T22:04:00.000+08:00

=) I just felt like blogging again, not because I'm too free and have nothing better to do..but wells..Oh drop it..haha..yet again..Bali bombings..just as when they loosen up abit on the security, boom! there it goes again..after all the money, time and labour put in to rebuilding bali after the previous blast, everything is just destroyed again by some inhuman babarians that are an utter disgrace to mankind. I often receive emails saying something like all these bad things that god lets us go through will only be exchanged for something even greater..but really..i cant seem to see any good that will come out of all these..of course, im not questioning but one cant help wondering..and i feel its only a matter of time before they strike singapore..and knowing how small this island is..just a few bombs and everything would be wiped out..sigh..

and before that happens..i just wanna thank everyone who has somehow or rather stepped into my life and touched me in some way or another..haha..even all those who well touched me in a bad way..thanks..haha..ok this really sounds like some speech u make before u leave the world..but..hmm..u never know..haha

so yes life is really short..enjoy every moment you have..never tell yourself theres a tmr..if u wanna do sth..just go for it =) haha..

and right now..i miss someone really bad..if i had the chance, id see him now..cos i never noe if there might be a tmr...

life should also not be filled with hatred, jealousy or greed..thou its natural for it to occur..but really why be so hateful or jealous when we eventually all share the same fate..we die..we leave this world..

2005-09-30T22:47:00.000+08:00

Ok..its really time i should update this blog..i promised myself i will not talk bout results or marks or wadeva nonsense..i shall be a happy girl and talk about happy stuff..

hmm..let me think..oh happy belated bdae again dallen leong..haha..yah wad kinda name is dat right..that's why lah..haha..weird name for a weird person..how appropriate..yups anyway..went over to his house to celebrate his bdae last week..haha..played pictionary..more of a game of who can cheat the most discretely rather den who can draw or guess the best..nevertheless it was really fun..cheating i mean..hahahah...we were so naiive to have not started cheating from the start like some other groups..ahem..hahaa..only when kenneth started den did we go full swing on cheating..lol..actually it was just playing smart..anyhows went back at bout 4am..was exhausted..heh sorry huang for not goin for the talks in the end..i really wanted to but u noe..fate just did not allow me to..hahahaha..

oh yeah..i've recently found an extinct animal in my sch, in my class to be precise, sits next to me to be even more precise..haha..and dats huang the DODO BIRD!! as quoted from the compre passage " ....stupid.....birds.." cant really remember but those are the main words..hahahaa..meaning DODO birds are stupid..DUH! hahaha...so hilarious...and ya huang..you should be displayed in the museum..dots..ahaha

theres only two friggin weeks left of sch..my secondary sch life...shit..im so gonna cry when it really ends...four yrs in my sch..although i wun say its exactly the sch with the best principal or teachers..i still love my sch..my frens..im gonna miss it so much..life..always has to be like dat..why god why..but yes..graduating means only one thing..we're growing up.moving on in life..and before we know it we'd be working, married with kids..sigh..how fast time flies..pple these days are always so caught up in the things they do that they do not realise that their time on earth is depleting with each sec..oh gosh..

hmm..alright back to me..im good now..not that i wasnt..but apart from results..i guess im doin pretty fine..love wise or wadsoever..still forever wishing for stuff to happen and duh obviously not happening..been having pretty peculiar dreams lately..paranoia as huang says it..and yours truly refuses to admit it..haha..i dreamt that my fren stole my property away..lol..how hilarious..i mean its not entirely impossible but still..hmmm...haha..

isnt it a wonder how u can not see someone at all when he/she lives in your lane just a few doors away from you..yes im wondering how come i never get to see that person..didnt we use to talk when we were young or sth? den again when we were young..now you're all grown up and getting on with your own life..that u dun even seem to recognise me..have i been ignorant or just plain stupid to only realise he's in vj when its his second yr there now..well i choose to think its the former..bleah..anyway..im gonna do sth drastic if he still refuses to talk to me..LOL..ok i was kidding..its no biggie..anyway..to those peeps taking their promos soon..esp jonny..=) good luck ya! you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-08-28T15:14:00.000+08:00

things have been goin on fine for me..so much so that i've neglected certain stuff..maybe i havent neglected them..maybe they neglected me..oh wells..it alright..im havin that stupid feeling of not wanting to lead this kinda boring life..around normal pple and normal things..sigh..i once heard this phrase from a singer..she said she grew up telling herself she did not want to walk on the streets like an ordinary person...she wanted to be somebody special..yes yes..everyones special but yeah u get the idea..anyway looking at how successful she is in her singing career, i somehow seem to aspire to be like her..sigh..oh wells..shut up brenda..oh cos im not saying im not happy with the pple around me..im so glad i have them..frens in school..G2 especially.. they just make life great for me..but..theres always that side of me wanting more..

.

2005-08-23T07:59:00.000+08:00

I don't really see the point in blogging nowadays. Frankly i never did. I always thought blogging was quite lame,and yay to those that think like me.Haha,but alrighty since im actually blogging i shall just shut my mouth first..hee..

hmm..prelims are in like a week but somehow or rather i dun seem to feel the stress..weird..and no im not confident at all..sigh..ok enough about school..

wrote a new song lately..played it for a few grps of frens..and had really positive comments from them..i think its the best song ive written so far..and i dun noe where the inspiration came from but im glad it came..my next song will prob be from tino..yeah! i just love writing my own songs and singing them..the satisfaction..its beyond words..first had that feeling when eilania and i sang our song during the opening concert oceanbutterflies...comments from people were like: you shocked us, we din noe it'd sound so good since yall were so young..and stuff like dat..i mean we were 14! haha...a good start to it..so yes i've grown addicted to that very special feeling that i get no where else..haha..so whenever there's something like an inspiration, i pick up my pen, sit in front of my piano and start playing anything really random..and i seem to be able to that for as long as 2 hours..its the passion they say..of course, sometimes i get nth outta it, but sometimes i get things like this new song ive just written, out of it..so since im there, i shall just talk a little bout song writing. most of the time, pple tell me they cant write songs and blah blah blah, as far as im concerned, u dun need much musical ability to write a song. all u need is a creative an open mind. haha..yeah u prob wun get me.but its alright ..haha..but i guess u need the passion to think like me..haha..

ok too much of that..brandy's sick..poor boy..hee..and he made me feel like an old grandma..nagging at him to eat more fruits and vegetables, drinking this and that..haha..i make a good mother..lol..ok dun laugh..i shall go do other more constructive stuff now..bye!

2005-08-16T08:07:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, lil things that happen make you realise how much you love your that special someone, and be thankful for having she/he in your life..

Sometimes, when things don't seem to be going well, God will somehow fit in something, somewhere, sometime, and everything will be alright again..=)

Last saturday was my mom's birthday, went to a restaurant in Taka to have dinner..was not bad..was supposed to go to nicole's party after that but decide to listen to our dear darling and go to conrad hotel for val's dinner..i did not regret one bit though..to think i was even reluctant to go, it was a blast...the place was beauutifull..so was the night..i love the choir..everyone's just like one big happy family..yes..anyhows..i had so much fun with the choir and of course..our dear boy..haha..thanks daffy for the lift home..got home at bout 12 plus..every single G2 event is always sooo enjoyable. and everyone looked hotter den usual..haha..i mean everyone in G2 is hot..haha..

Had my oral like last week or sth..my gosh..i absolutely hit the jackpot..i had two male examiners, and the topic was exactly wad i kinda wished for..i think i did not bad..far better den the one with that seemingly disinterested and abohorent mrs. THONG..hehe..and yes, her name says it all..i just cant seem to communicate with old female teachers..hahaha..yesyes, im critical..but just saying what i feel.

anyway its my fav lesson now again..english! haha...and i think i better go now..have a descriptive essay to write..heee..

2005-08-09T10:26:00.000+08:00

us! heh.

2005-08-09T10:09:00.001+08:00

hee..huang me cheryl zheya bixia

2005-08-09T10:08:00.000+08:00

i wasnt photogenic at all dat day..yikes

2005-08-09T10:07:00.000+08:00

hee..national day..maryam! wassup with your mouth!! haha!!!!

rainy day

2005-08-04T11:12:00.001+08:00

Ok..So it's raining really heavily outside. All dark and gloomy! My favourite weather! It's freezing cold outside and I'm in Com lab 1. And duh! Its even colder in here! But im loving it all the same. hee! its english lesson now and we're supposed to be completing some essay crap but oh wells, i dare bet the whole class, with maybe an exception of one or two 'extra' pple, are prob updating their blogs or checking their frenster or email now. haha..and ok i hear the thunder. all those peeps who are still in bed at this time..all i can say is..YOU SUCK! hahaha! Its kinda weird a cheery and happy-go-lucky person like me would actually like such a gloomy weather. ok enough of this weather crap here..on to wads been happening in my life.

hmmm...where do i start..so much has happened over this er..past 4-5 days? talked to my bro whos in US online and he said he'd bought lotsa things for me! yay! whee! hmm...quite sweet ah he..lol..Shi yu just made me laugh..and my stomach is hurting like hell, not forgetting my aching legs!this is the result of not having trg for such a long time and suddenly having your 2.4 and napfa in the same day. ok lets not go there. anyhows..my both parents are sick and its wonder if i dun fall sick..but if i really dun..id have to thank god.. seriously..i cant afford to fall sick! i have my o level eng oral next week.. and im so gonna make sure i do really well in that..

last week or was it last last week? i was backstage at the z pop concert..met xu huan liang lao shi.. came to tap me behind my back and talked to me..so sweet ..haha..and he thought i was from the same batch and class as lin jun jie..but no..i was from the 3rd batch! haha..brilliant performance by my beloved shi xiong! hahaa!! yikes!!!! yeah and celest, din really like her but now ok shes quite nice..she was like..telling jamie i was very pretty..eeyer..ok ben yeo is quite cute actually..took a pic with fan wei qi!! shes really pretty..and in her hands was half blood prince..heh.attempting to read in the dark..backstage was dark! i tell ya! yeah was really fun..although it could have been funner ..but wells shant elaborate on dat..

hmm..life in sch..been pretty ok..stressful though..i absolutely abhor Ms Lee! and i used to think she was ok..urghs..now i noe y so many pple do not like her..heh..and yes Ms johara is still the best! shant care bout wad other pple say bout her! hahahaha!! sigh..i hate studying..

been having pretty strange dreams lately..stuff bout brandon..nicholas...and the ultimate wan..zhang shanwei!! like helloo... haha..but..however weird and impossible those dreams were, they were still really nice and sweet..esp the one last night..heh..brenda brenda...when will i ever get down to earth dreams..hahaha...been questioning quite alot lately, asking myself this and that..and conclusion: i still havent really found any..im just living each day as it passes..haha.
i guess thats it for now...ta!

Whee!

2005-07-29T16:15:00.000+08:00

Whee! I've gotten a new blogskin. Sick of the other..Hmm..life's been quite good..prelims in 30 days! ah! therefore i shall go study now! tell me what you guys think bout this k! haha..this one better or old one? lol..of cos this one rite..heheh

2005-07-22T17:27:00.000+08:00

our class decor!! our hard work man! hahaha

2005-07-22T17:26:00.001+08:00

hahah! trying to act retarded!

2005-07-22T17:26:00.000+08:00

i look retarded! haha..huang and i!

2005-07-21T16:53:00.000+08:00

a pink rose from brandy..so pretty..thanks boy..

2005-07-21T16:51:00.000+08:00

us!

2005-07-21T16:50:00.000+08:00

wad a tongue!

2005-07-21T16:46:00.000+08:00

me and zhe ya

2005-07-19T16:00:00.000+08:00

I absolutely do not like fake people, and people who lie to me for their benefit. It's irritating! Be more real damn it! Ok the more i think and talk bout it the worse it gets, but i think i've still been too nice. I'll deal with dat. so yes before i cont with my bitching..i shall talk bout some real stuff..heh..

ok last mon, we sent anton off. It was a real fun day. Met Jon and Kenneth at Parkway den went shopping for antons pressie. My goodness.. We were looking at swimming trunks. those cute ones. but too bad they were all kiddie sizes. saw one really obiang one, jon tried it..and man i felt so embarrased i walked out of the shop.LoL.. and den we walked out to check out this earrings shop. our dear kenneth hu just had his chinese oral asked me wad earrings was in chinese..HAHA! hilarious.. and poor anton. cos dear kenneth, again, said we were buying earrings for a gay. and asked if its ok for sensitive ears. and the lady was like.. oh if he's those girly type he'd have nail polish rite, ask him to coat it with nail polish and it'd be fine. and yes yours truly burst out into hysterical laughter. HaHa...really i feel sad for anton man.. thanks to kenneth huh..nehows the whole shopping trip was super fun and funny despite being suaned by the two crazy guys.. den took a bus to the airport. encountered weird pple on the bus. Ha! so yes finally reached. decided to play a trick on anton.but sigh..we were too late! arghs! it'd have been so fun! yeah den the grp of us stood in a circle and were telling racist jokes non stop and were just laughing and laughing.. it was real real real fun.. went to have dinner after dat.. poured sprite on kenneths fish and apparently he had diarrhoea that night..oops..hahahhaha!

actually many things have been happening these few days..with huang and all..HAHA! but wells...shall not elaborate..its just too much..huang stop pangsehing your frens ok! HAHAHA! you see i dun do dat noe..frens are more important ok! *winks* actually i realised your real close close fren can never be someone of the opp sex..good frens yes but like bestest buddy..no way...you'd be retarded if it was...do you get wad i mean? LOL...actually its out of d point. sigh.haha..up to now im still like..damn! i'll tell ya in sch..haha..

..cant they just abolish all science and maths related subjects?!! its only for retards seriously! hahahahah...y would u wanna noe potassium is more reactive than zinc? and dat in the presence of sulphate ions, a white ppt will be formed in barium nitrate..u tell me! where and when in the world would i ever need that info? yes NEVER! urghs...SICK! i wanna be a multi linguist!

2005-07-08T22:21:00.000+08:00

today was great..haha..huang, bixia and i were obsessed over ourselves and kept taking pictures..den we had our much awaited kopi beng..hahah..huang i still think the curry rice was quite gross..dun u think..ahhahahh...and man..my bag was freakin heavy lah..

oh wells...i think some pple really lack sincerity...i dun mean everyone..but..ok..a sec2 boy from my choir, his dad just passed away and we're supposed to sing for the funeral mass..i mean wad i feel is dat the least we could do is go and give him our support and all, just put aside our commitments for once..but no..apparently some pple..rather stay home to study..or maybe even go out with their frens..of cos there are some dat really cant make it..but it just pisses me when they say..im not sure whether i can go..and their reason..not sure if i have time! i mean hello! how can u be not sure if u have time..if u arent sure in the first place dat means you will have the time if u want to..so its a want or dont want situation..its sick i feel..i guess some pple just dun understand how it is like to lose a loved one..its terrible..and i know it best..and really..support from frens and family is the most you'd need rite den..ok i shant go there, but wat im saying is wad are we humans becoming..i mean i do admit im like dat too..but its really sad..and i just cant stand pple who merely say..send him my regards..or send him my condolences...cant u freakin send him a msg or sth? wad happened to the sincerity..some excuses pple have..oh i dun have his number..have u heard of finding it out from someone? ok i think thats enough..but to those genesis peeps out there, if u read this and happen to be someone like dat...think bout it ya..but i doubt many will ready though..

back on to my life...hmmm i love my frens!!! huang i love u!! hahahahahahhah...i think id absolutly die without them in my life..huang and zhe ya..thanks so much for the wonderfully and not so wonderful advices youve given me..hahaha...it helped alot..really..mrs wee..we must start planning for our prom..how bout hyatt? lol...oooh i cant wait!! haha..

2005-07-06T23:12:00.000+08:00

deleted the last entry cos it might lead to certain misunderstandings...sigh...all im goin to say is..i noe wads right and wrong..just learn to trust...sometimes we just gotta look back at ourselves...and think if its us or the pple around us...

bout dat certain person ive just gotten to noe...
well this person is just some random person i happen to come across..
...is there anything really wrong to think someone is intriguing when you supposedly are with some guy? i dun suppose so...besides..forget it..i guess i shouldnt have said it...but come on if i really wanted to hide it..would i put it in my blog..sigh..maybe it was just the way i said it..i give up..

ok sorry peeps who dun noe wads goin on..but wells..just some stuff...yups..=)

2005-07-04T12:16:00.000+08:00

This was written by brandon..lil piggy..aww..so sweet..hahaha

This is a story of a boy and a girl.

One day, a tall and cute boy met a not so tall and adorable girl. They met at a new year's party. And at that party, the boy was smitten by the girl. However, the boy never got close to her. It had neared midnight, and he still hadn't said anything to her. All he had done was to take a photo of her and her brother. In truth, he only wanted the photo of her. He couldn't talk to her. But in his heart, having her picture was good enough.

At that time, that boy had other obligations to keep. Rushin off from the party at the stroke of midnight, he went off to another person's house. He had wanted so much to stay where the girl was, but he could not. He had to spend the new year with another person. There goes the new year he thought.

In the next 2 months that followed, the boy had the chance to meet the girl again. They had been in the same church all along. Just that, the girl never noticed the boy up until then. The boy went to church with great anticipation. He wanted to see the girl. However, when the girl would walk into the room, he would be afraid to move. You see, the boy was afraid. He didn't want to fall. Not after what had happened before.

And so, weeks passed. As if by God's will, the boy and girl had gotten to meet again, in his school. The girl, who was accustomed to being sweet and kind to others, had gotten the boy a drink. He looked at her. He smiled. He said thank you. What the girl didn't know, what he didn't dare tell, was how lovely that drink tasted. It was by chance that they had met, and it was that same chance when her friend asked her if the boy was her boyfriend. She smiled. She said no. She said they were church friends. The boy smiled. We're church friends he thought. And he smiled again. We're friends.

From that day onwards, the boy and the girl were friends. And just like normal friends, they would talk. The boy would look forward to the days when the girl came to his school. How beautiful she looked, he thought to himself. From then on, he would always come prepared with a drink for her. He had come to learn that she liked peach. I like that too, he thought to himself. And from then on, he had always gotten her a peach drink. Likewise, the girl would pass him a drink. She might not have known, but it meant a lot to the boy. The boy was touched.

As each day progressed, the boy and girl became closer friends. She had become his inspiration. But the girl didn't know.

It was on the day of March, he remembered. By then, the boy had gotten braver. He had known her well enough. Or so he thought. It was like one of the usual talks they had. But this time, the boy had said something he had never told her before. She had already known what it was, but she made him continue what he wanted to say.

Ten days passed, and the girl still hadn't told him what she felt. It was a hopeless case he thought. I just wish she would still be my friend, he prayed. They say God works in mysterious ways. This he learnt, couldn't have been any more true.

On the 14th of March, the girl had told the boy what she felt. The boy liked what he had heard. He could not believe what she had said. He did not believe that miracles do happen. Now, he knew they did.

It's been months since that wonderful day.

Many things have changed. His hair, his height, his skin. But one thing that's remained, is his desire to love her.

This story it seems, will not be ending anytime soon. It still has many more paragraphs to go. Hours, days and months will pass.

Hopefully, a fairy tale will come true.

BRENDA

2005-07-03T22:12:00.000+08:00

Ok i finally can blog again..man..What a boring holiday. Seriously. I mean who stays home almost everyday to study? well i did. urghs..with exception of a few days..heh..ok those times i went out were reallly fun! hehe..and ive been having extremely weird dreams lately. and like wad ain said..its always the wrong guy. its like u dream den u wake up feeling like huh? y him? and..wells kenneth sim! for one..yes i dreamt of u! haha..i have no idea! and den there was this anonymous guy whom.. well..the dream was amazing..its like..i cant explain..felt so real! even when i woke up. will i ever meet that person some day? or are dreams just dreams? and then of cos there was that dream bout SHAN WEE! was listening to shan on air that day..Hmmm...haha..like every single time he speaks..there'd be: this is SHAN WEE! haha..how adorable Shan..and pple that find it boring..hey he's new.. give him a chance.. but i think its refreshing..something different from the usual jamie yeo-glenn-justin style? rather just not as cocky. heh..i didnt say cockiness was bad..=P its good infact..but well for a change..catch SHAN on air on P10 late at night! Huang rmb the distance thing ya.. haha..oh wells..with guys like Shan around.. im just wondering..would i ever be satisfied with who i have? lol..ok i was kidding..duh i would be..but like what i was telling my frens..i think like in the near future.. i'd want some excitement in my life.....ok i shall not elaborate..may make me seem shallow.or do i already seem it? haha..wait excitement as in not the normal life..not that kinda excitement ya..
anyway..me and bran..we're fine thank you..haha...nickky sorry ive not been able to talk to you..but yesh we're fine..except for the fact i didnt seem him for 2 weeks..ok we wont go there..huang im sure you're sick and tired of all my lamenting..i shall stop k..promise.haha..lets talk bout Ssshhaa..forget it..haha..anyway i realised your heart does not work with your mind at all! people force them to but at the end of the day, they work best seperately..agree raise up your hand! hehe..hmm..oh yes ive watched PCK..it was such a bore i tell ya..my handphone interest me more..and that resulted with me glowing brightly in the dark indoor stadium..HAHA! and had reception after that and Goh CT and the whole cast were there too..but wells yours truly took no interest in them at all..haha..
oh wells..one week of block cas finally over. so screwed up anw..went for lunch with huang, zhe ya and few others..den went to the esplanade at night..man it was fun..haha...bixia and her sucking eh. i bet she did! agree with me raise your foot! *raises foot* hehe..my oh my! anyhows was a great day..and last night...went k boxing with brandy..heh..dat crazy boy..aye..haha..must go with my singing sch mates soon..heh...and like right now..im supposed to b at a bbq, but im lazy to go..so ya! here i am! tennising tmr! better be fun! *stares and jon and jo* hahaha!! ok i guess thats it..this is like really long..oh and i think MTVs PIMP MY RIDE is freakin cool!! like oh gosh! ROOM RAIDERS is cute.. POWER GIRLS is like huh? and lately ive been addicted to charm..lol..anw..im off..

signed off,
brendy

2005-06-18T13:27:00.000+08:00

at the mrt station..why is jerald so big..right infront..yikes...ok brenda..stop being so evil

2005-06-18T13:26:00.000+08:00

in church..waiting to set out..hehe...

2005-06-18T13:25:00.000+08:00

us scrambling to the next station.. that is...2 groups i think..heheh

2005-06-18T13:24:00.000+08:00

me and daffy..untying some rope thing..haha

2005-06-18T13:23:00.000+08:00

the whole grp of us..whee before we set out

2005-06-17T14:42:00.000+08:00

the piggu sweet i bot for my darling..hehe...cute eh...its grape flavour i think...and ya..thanks zhe ya..haha